More hideous weather

Escaping the raw, rainy day here in the library. I used to work here and remember it as being warm and cozy and colorful. Winter has not even started yet and the weather is despicable.

Returning a book that I got on Interlibrary loan. The last bohemia : scenes from the life of Williamsburg, Brooklyn, by Robert Anasi. As Brooklyn gets hipper, I get more like a country bumpkin and an OLD one at that! Feel like life is changing and that I am getting more "out of it". This book is about young, not rich, people viewing the gentrification of a funky place and lifestyle. And it was short so I could finish it before the due date.

Nighttime eating getting out of control. I think I got some cheese out last night, even after I pigged out at French club. There was an "old" me and a "new" me. I have lost touch with the "new" me.

I thought I heard a mouse last night and there were a few nibble marks on the cheese that I don't think were made by me. Need to set some traps. I hear rustling in strange places. I don't think I am alone.

Erasers that don't work

This is one of my pet peeves. Can't think of any others at the moment. I am also very unhappy when the temperature goes below freezing as it did today. Plus there was wind. It is really HAT weather.

Was asked to work this weekend. I said yes since I only work one day a month and I didn't have one scheduled for the month of December. Yes, it will inconvenience me, as I was supposed to go to a funeral. (It is amazing how working only ONE day a month can still feel incommodious when it rolls around). But I am barely employed and so want to be agreeable and able to be counted upon.

Feeling kind of busy over the holidays but not with parties. Just with scheduled events that are distracting me from getting ready for gift shopping and wrapping. I am very bad at all that anyway. I don't shop for myself so it is not so fun to shop for others.

BO in the library

And other reasons why most sane people have the Internet in their homes. Also they don't have to come out when the temperature is 28 degrees.

I am KIND OF in my own little world with the earbuds on. The CD, Blurred lines, by Robin Thicke, is starting to grow on me and now am enjoying my Youtube playlist (Queen singing Bohemian Raphsody right now).

Looking up my diseases on the Internet and worrying about doing or not doing anything about them. I will not be specific but suffice it to say, there are reasons why I have become celibate...too many conditions about that people do not know that they even have!

Robin Thicke and Nora Ephron

Listening to CD Blurred lines by Robin Thicke. That is about the only single that appeals to me.

Greatly enjoyed The most of Nora Ephron. She died in 2012 at the age of 71. Good to reread things such as Heartburn and When Harry met Sally. Her later essays are quite poignant, like I remember nothing and What I won't miss and What I will miss. Painful AND funny reading her thoughts about aging and death.

I can't believe I read the entire 618 pages of Joyce Carol Oates newest book, The accursed. It was a mess and I didn't really enjoy it much. It jumped all over the place, including historical references about New Jersey, Princeton University, Woodrow Wilson, Grover Cleveland, the New Jersey devil, mesmerism, Prebyterianism, Upton Sinclair and more. I did read carefully to see if Mother Bloor was mentioned. She was a Socialist who used to live in my town, unhappily, at my actual address. She helped Sinclair with research for his book, The jungle.

It was kind of confusing. I read many books at once and I was reading one called The accused and one called The accursed.

I'm his guardian angel?

I meet some characters at the car mechanics. I like the car mechanic as they are honest and down home. They scribble what to do on a piece of printer paper smudged with oily fingerprints. Then they put your car keys on top. Calendar seems to be day by day and hand written. I brought stuff to do but I forgot about the loud country music they play. A guy came in, looking for a left hand mirror that he had ordered "a long time ago". He had left the country and his brother took over the truck and then kept it for awhile. When he finally got it back, the left hand mirror was STILL broken. He said if the mirror was still in the back room, he was going to call ME his guardian angel. It was. I am. He counsels prisoners as a labor of love for 40 years and his work is never done.

The weather is hideous. I can't stand it much longer. Two days of dank, damp and dreary. The only good news is that my roof didn't leak (yet).

I am busy organizing nuts and delivering them. Due to the horrible weather, I have not lugged the four boxes of nuts upstairs into my house. I am organizing them IN THE CAR. Soon, I will commence to binge on nuts every night until they are gone. I sort of overbought, if that is possible.

Volunteered for something I really don't feel like doing. I gotta stop that.

Limited time free access to local sluts

This is just one of the fascinating emails I receive. It is hard sifting through the crap to get to the nuggets of "real" mail. I set up another email account to give out now that everyone wants you to give your address. But I still can't ignore it.

Returning the Estelle CD to the Vineland Public Library. Didn't like it all that much. It has too much talking on it, for one thing. And my favorite Estelle song isn't even on there. The CD is called All of me. I probably bought it when I was the CD buyer there.

Getting less done online these days. Getting MORE done at home. I love sorting through my piles. Always discovering things I haven't thought about in years. I DO throw some of it out, but save things like good quotes and postcards from my mother. Just ten years ago she was in her right mind and had friends and went to art openings and sent me postcards. I treasure these findings. Sometimes they make my cry.

The only thing I ever bought on Black Friday

It was a car. I detest Black Friday. Am more fond of Small Business Saturday. Cyber-Monday is Ok too. Now there is Charitable giving Tuesday. Just realized I have given something each month all year. Perhaps I should not be content with that, however. That could be my minimum, not necessarily my maximum.

Shoprite was a madhouse today. Too many people! The poor cashier was complaining about all the people, some of them being rude. I think they were all trying to get points so they could get a free turkey. It seemed like Thanksgiving was going to be TOMORROW, not 9 days away. I prefer going to Acme and paying more just for some peace and quiet. It is so confusing to have the Salvation army people out there ringing bells already. I gave last night at Boscov's. Can't give EVERY day from now until Christmas! Homes are starting to be all lit up already, too. Maybe this is the year I will just ignore the holidays. Thanksgiving traditions already messed up.

I meant to return the book, Barefoot in Baghdad to the Vineland Public Library yesterday. I can't believe how far down in the pile it got! The subtitle is : a story of identity - my own - and what it means to be a woman in chaos, by Manal M. Omar. At first I enjoyed the book, but then I got sort of annoyed at her blindness to danger. Horrible things occured in Iraq. Her goal was to help women. Some of the women were aggravating. There were no good options for them. So many of her friends got killed or kidnapped. None of the kidnapped people ever came back. This was an eye-opening book.

I couldn't sleep at ALL last night

I know that is from a song, but...reasons I couldn't sleep:
1. Was too hot (predicted temp of 57 degrees low last night. I think my PJ's and socks were too warm). Now need a new weather obsession. Looking at low for night could tell me how many BLANKETS to put on bed. I already have COATS that I wear when it is in the 30's, 40's or 50's during the day.
2. Ate too much provolone cheese before bed. I have not overcome my nighttime eating problem. Of course, taking Ambien does not help with that. And I have a provolone addition. One pound of sliced cheese can last me one or two days. I HAVE overcome my ice cream addiction by going cold turkey and probably that is the only reason I have lost weight.
3. Disorderly neighbors. Aggravating newish tenants across the street, including kids, vulgar, loud woman, and angry man. Police are called to the scene at least weekly and loud cursing can be heard from inside my home.

Books recently finished:

1. Leaf man, by Lois Ehlert. This is a children's book called to my intention by a promotional bookmark. A story for young children is illustrated by characters made entirely of leaves. Why didn't I think of that? I might have to BUY this book, it is just so darn clever and made me think of my mommy, who appreciated all beautiful stuff of nature. On the end papers, various leaves are identified and on the flyleaf are examples of leaves found by the author's friends such as "mystery leaf, found on ground in front of folk art museum, San Diego, California." I borrowed this book from the Bridgeton Public Library (E EHLERT).

Every love story is a ghost story : a life of David Foster Wallace, by D. T. Max - Not sure if I have even READ a book by DFW. Had to borrow this biography through the Cumberland County Library. He was a character and had a lot of girlfriends and some mental and drug issues and is considered a genius of a writer. He killed himself when he was in his forties. I ended up having to skim in order to return the book on time, so missed some details near the end. Even the notes looked kind of interesting.

The child's child, by Ruth Rendell writing as Barbara Vine. This book was recommended to me, but I didn't really like it that much. The people were not real sympathetic and were trapped. It treated issues of out-of-wedlock children, homosexuality, and people using people. Some of the users aggravated me. And by the end, I had forgotten the beginning, which treated some of the same issues, but in a more modern time. Again, I had to rush throught the end as book was overdue at the Vineland Public Library (MYS Vine Barbara)

The Holland collection

This week I have nail polish that is pink with silvery overtones. It is called Pedal faster Suzi! Last week I had I don't give a Rotterdam. Half the fun of O.P.I. is the names. Sometimes I pick my color solely based on the name.

EEK! Running out of time on the computer. My favorite thing is doing STUFF on the computer. Of course, it involves SITTING (my favorite activity) and MUSIC (how can that not make you happy) and RESEARCH (it is the librarian in me)and JUMPING around from thing to thing (just what the person with ADD loves). But I am about to be kicked off the computer at the Millville Public Library.

Things I love

- sandwiches
- leaves
- weather that is improving
- Xanax

Going to a novelist workshop tonight. I laughingly say that writing a novel is on my list of things to do. Is this even practice for that? I feel that writing with any kind of thought of who is reading it is an impediment. Reluctant to say what I REALLY think about stuff.

Dabbling in history. Looking up newspaper articles about my ancestors. Hanging out with historians.

More stupid things I have done lately

The other day I got freaked out when I could not get into my Google account. Since I have heard that hackers deter you from getting into your own account, I changed my password. (I must say that Google makes that process somewhat simple). Then I realized that I had forgotten something about my own password and that it was my own fault that I couldn't get in. Senility, here I come!

Yesterday, did not go on my excursion to New Brunswick due to obstacles such as SNOW. So I drove a few miles to shop at Peebles, since you can get a discount on Tuesdays. Stupidly and tragically, I locked my trunk and realized that in addition to my purse and my phone, which I MEANT to lock in there, I had left my KEYS in there. So, there I was, far from home, with only my Peebles credit card. I decided to WALK home. It was a ridiculously long distance and the day was dreary, frigid and windy. Boy, was I feeling sorry for myself...wishing that someone I knew would drive by and offer me a ride. After about an hour of walking, an old black man in a big black pickup rolled down his window and asked directions to the Manor. I said I would show him the way if he would drop me off downtown. He asked me if my husband would mind. Uh-oh, but it was fine. When I got to my house, I got the hide-a-key, where I hide a car key and a house key. Went inside for a rest and called three friends. Unable to reach anyone, as is par for the course these days. Did legs-up-the-wall for a bit. Then I realized that the day was waning and I had better get busy walking back before it got dark. So I bundled up some more and set out, hating the day. Was feeling sympathy for the poor, the homeless, the Phillipinos, etc. I heard a whimpering sound and thought, "What is a kid doing outside on a day like THIS?" I found a young black boy huddled between the storm door and the door of a house, crying. The school bus had dropped him off but his mother was not home or not opening the door. I knocked on the door, but the house looked buttoned up tight. Then a man came across the street and knew the kid and was partners with his dad. He started calling all around but got no response from anyone. But he offered to keep the kid and DRIVE ME up to Carll's Corner. My lucky day. I went in his house which was very warm and immaculate (not much furniture). There were three little boys and two women in there.

The weather is scaring me. I DETEST winter and can't believe that I used to live in Vermont! It is BREEZY in my home and I am too cheap (and cluttered) to get new windows. I thought I could stand it as long as it was over 32 degrees, but I hate the wind and the gloom and the rain and the snow. I MUST get down to planning some trips to escape. My plan at Peebles was to buy "something warm". All the clothes were quite unflattering so I ended up buying just some black tights.

Conversational snippets

I like feeling invisible as I circulate throughout the world hearing snippets of other people's conversations. Perhaps one could base a novel on such? Today I was at a college campus and overheard a woman telling a friend that she blamed her problems on her "mother being high on acid" when she was conceived.

Snippets I would rather NOT hear are from the house of the tenants across the street. They are LOUD and VULGAR (the tenants) and I can't wait for them to move or get kicked out(this eventually happens to ALL of my neighbors). As I was walking down the street admiring the fall leaves and the pleasant street I live on, I passed their house and from inside the house, I could hear FUCK this and FUCK that. And I fear that this woman has several children. No wonder people grow up strange.

Had a very enjoyable day today even though it was raining. Went up to where I work part time to have a photo shot for the new web page. I am quite pleased with it and the photo session was fun. The campus was beautiful with the fall leaves. Went to lunch with three colleagues and had a delicious salad that was not too expensive.

Adam y Yves

Once again I found a little slip of paper with something written on it. Where to file/put it? I was a sign in a cool demonstration (parade) I saw in Paris. It went right past my hotel. It was quite festive event, with little cars all decorated. All of the themes seemed to have the word BAR in them....BARack Obama, BARbie. Not sure what these students were for or against. It mostly seemed to be an advertisement for a party they were going to have. This sign was a sort of a pro-gay sign...a take off on Adam and Eve. Adam y Yves are two boys in French. (Y means and. It is pronounced EEE)

My plan for today was to work on the computer for one hour and then walk for ten minutes. I haven't really accomplished that. I walked a delightful few minutes down to the new restaurant in town (the ONLY restaurant in town) and had a nice lunch with a friend. Then I walked back to the historical society. It is a beautiful fall day. I seem bedazzled by each leaf that falls this year...the COLOR!...the SIZE!...the SHAPE! I love the falling moments and the rustling as you walk. Also poignant knowing that tomorrow could be colder and rainier and windier.

Tried out some headphones last night at the Spring store. My God, they were fantastic. Dr. Dre, white, for $199. And attached to a phone I would like to have (HTC) but it cost $99. And I am not sure I am going to stay with Sprint. It is time to start looking, however. Am getting disappointed in my phone. I think it is time to get disappointed in another phone or company.

A cold and dreary day

It is only cold INSIDE...weather outside is rather temperate. But raining. I can't stand this kind of weather. Plus my office at home has sprung a leak. It has leaked twice and this time was much worse than last time. If I don't put something under it it will wreck my answering machine. So far, just leaked on some scrap paper. Who do I call? The guy who replaced much of my roof and now I am getting the sneaking suspicion that that was not the problem. The Gutter guys? My brother-in-law who is getting ready to go off sailing and has no time?

I totally ignored Halloween yesterday in my curmudgeonly way. Got home at 5 PM and went into hiding since I had no candy. I had no candy because no one ever finds my door and I know what would happen to that candy.

Alternating between depressed and hopeful on the diet front. I know I feel better in so many ways but sometimes wonder if it is worth all of the nay saying. That being said, I still had about an inch of mayonnaise on my sandwich at lunch time, even though I have vowed to go back to 300 calorie meals and 100 calorie snacks. I happen to be addicted to mayonnaise. Took a brave leap the other day. I purchased BURUMAN's mayo at Aldi's. Container designed to look like Hellmans and name scarily similar. Close but no cigar. Have not noticed anything objectionable about the taste and the price was right.

Can I sit next to you when I come back so I can listen to your music?

Overheard from a patron at the computers at the Vineland Public library. Of course, he wasn't saying that to ME. Guess I do not know the secrets of meeting men.

New book about assassination of JFK. Kind of shocked to read that over 40,000 books have been written on this topic? How is that even possible? I must say the details do sound MIGHTY suspicious.

Amusing comment from some guy about the new curved phones...."a solution looking for a problem". Why didn't I think of that? Still procrastinating about getting a new phone. A friend just switched to Sprint and got a new LG phone. She also got a FREE tablet!
I wouldn't mind having one of those. I was so looking forward to becoming eligible for an upgrade (it has been a YEAR now) and ending my servitude to Sprint (it has been 10 months now). Yet, here I sit, having NOT taken any action on the subject. I liked the comment I read in the Sunday New York times that marriage should be like cell phones, with a two year contract and an option to upgrade!

Listening to one of my favorite L'il Wayne songs on Youtube. Oh yeah, No love involves Eminem, too.

Losing the battle against sloth

I learned last week that every hour of sitting takes 22 minutes off of your life. That has made me more interested in exercise IN THEORY but not in practice. All of my favorite activities involve SITTING...reading, driving, computer work. Notice that I have been skipping more days of exercise and justifying it. This has got to stop! Just wrote a short article about the benefits of physical activity. Now I just need to PRACTICE what I preach.

So, the only guy who actually talks to me in the gym makes me nervous. I guess I like being a hermit and not knowing anyone's name. I always feel so defensive around him. Like I always want to trash myself and my efforts. He keeps trying to get me to be positive and I persist in being negative.

Watched Doc Martin last night. It is on Tuesday night at 8 PM on Channel 23. Thought I had seen them all but I seem to have missed series 3. Or else I FORGOT that I saw it. But I DO remember the Ballykissangels that come on next. One hour of TV is my limit for one day. And that is at least 1/2 hour longer than my attention span. I love Doc Martin because it has great scenery, it is about a small town, and he is such a curmudgeon. He is a surgeon who develops a fear of blood. I am always BEHIND on things. I only seem to enjoy repeats or shows that are not even produced any more. I was a few years LATE getting into Bob Dylan and Frank Sinatra and The big bang theory. Just not a cutting edge kind of gal.

Is there a mouse in the house?

I think that would be a good title for a children's book. I don't want to admit it, but I think that there is a mouse in my house. Weird when you live alone. First the bat and now the mouse. So, I have added mouse trap to my list for shopping. I used to set the mouse traps for my mother. Now I need someone to set them for ME! Here are the clues:
- Once while up in the night I thought I saw something run and hide near the refrigerator.
- My bag of crunchies near the fridge got a hole in it
- I found ONE fingerless glove and the side of it was totally unraveled

Finished two books. The round house by Louis Erdrich was full of Native American lore. Nicely evoked milieu of unpleasant events on the reservation, including rape and murder. I think that is what put me a bit off from reading it, but mostly enjoyed the writing. Also finished a surprisingly interesting nonfiction book about exercising (The first 20 minutes : surprising science reveals how we can exercise better, train smarter, live longer, by Gretchen Reynolds). It convinced me that I need to make more of an effort to exercise DAILY. I am too fond of sitting. It is better to be fat and fit than fat and not fit, said the author. I am hovering around this spot with my weight, balancing out my lack of interest in exercising and my desire to binge and eat all of the wrong foods with activity and restraint. Feel like I am on a teeter totter.

Not very comfortable today. Am using my laptop at the Cohansey Café. Furniture not real commodious and no electrical outlet today. But, the sun is shining and Royals by Lorde is on Youtube. Also belly full of buttered blueberry muffin and coffee. An example of how my eating has slipped....I used to say I could eat something "bad" only once a week and only if I had lost weight. Then it was once a week, no matter what the weight. Soon I was eating unacceptable items once a day and now MORE than once a day. Oh my.

Reading a book about a song

There is a new book about a BOOK (The Koran of Thomas Jefferson). I thought THAT was amazing, but then I found myself reading a book about a SONG...The holy or the broken : Leonard Cohen, Jeff Buckley and the unlikely ascent of "Hallelujah", by Alan Light, traces the history and phenomenal explosion of this song. After being around already for decades, the song ended up TWICE on a top ten list by two different artists. This song has been interpreted by over 100 artists. I already have the Rufus Wainwright version and the Leonard Cohen version in my Youtube playlist. Must make sure I listen to the Jeff Buckley and Cale versions.

Listening to Mr. Brightside by The Killers.

My regular deli must cringe when they see me coming. I actually LOOK at date on the Diet Coke and demand one that has not expired. They are not removing the old ones, hoping someone will buy them who does not look at the date. I would go elsewhere but they have the cheapest ones. Also the idea of Diet Coke having some ingredients that expire is rather hilarious!

Things I am NOT interested in....

Don't have room in my brain for:
- candy
- wine
- college football
- horror
- violence

There are some weird names in the world. Not the time to be a teacher, what with all of the apostrophes and made-up names. Here are some I came across in the Police report of New York, Millville and Vineland. (These are an exception to my rule of using no names):
- Daquan
- Antiq
- Quanderia
- Sharmaine
- Alshamar

Listening to a CD: Mechanical bull, by Kings of Leon. Perhaps if I listen to it again, it will grow on me.

Dumb things I have done today

First dumb thing was I texted the WRONG man with this message...."I'm dressed. What is your schedule? Did you get enough sleep last night?"
The wrong man kindly texted me back with his schedule. Then I texted the RIGHT man, forgetting that he lives in GREENWICH, where cell phones do not work! Went to the health club only to find out that they were going to turn off the electric. Happily, I completed my workout before the switch went off. Also, it was good to find that the soap and paper towel dispensers and toilet still worked even though I had to do it all in the dark.

So, I am running around trying to get all of my STUFF done before 5 PM. It is Friday and libraries inconveniently close at 5. So nice to have sunlight and get my Vitamin D bath in.

Youtube is making me happy. Had to put in the headphones to drown out the sound leaking out from someone else's earbuds. Listening to James Blunt singing, "You're beautiful".

Benefits of using the library computers

They are more old-fashioned and the new features of Yahoo and Google don't work right. I am so much more happy with the old familiar features! Now My Coke rewards is in a new BETA version and they are sure I am going to be very excited about it. All I can think of is, "OH NO!"

Read a great children's book today. I became aware of it due to a lovely bookmark. It is called Leaf man, by Lois Ehlert. The story is told with glorious leaves made into shapes of things. I am going to take it home and show it to my sister for her grandchildren.

Oh dear, computer time is just about up. Must pay attention to my email so I can delete my daily quota.

Diet Coke has an expiration date??!

That is a scary thought. You mean to tell me there are FRESH ingredients in Diet Coke? Yesterday I was drinking one that had an expiration date of the previous day. Not too worried about it. Anyway, recent thinking is that the expiration dates are just a suggestion.

I can't believe they are cancelling the show called Hoarders. Although I guess once you have seen one hoarders you have seen them all....chubby, low-class, unsmiling people with lots of crap. I enjoy watching it from time to time for a few minutes and hope that they are worse than me. I don't think I have animal excrement in my home. But I DO need to keep a trash bag in each room.

Having an ongoing struggle with Yahoo mail. Who are all of their customers? I don't know many people who still have Yahoo. I was fine with it until they started "upgrading" and trying to be like Google. Their customer service SUCKS. They have all kinds of online forms and aids but you can't get to a real person unless you have an account access issue.
That is what is the most frustrating thing. I have sent off at least 8 pissed off complaints just today. It is bad when the help instructions are just plain WRONG. I am losing emails (especially ones I have forwarded) and cannot change my signature, which I like to do once a week.

How do you spell United States?

This is only one of the questions put to me by a young girl who was sitting next to me on the computers at the Bridgeton Public Library last night. She was watching some kind of bloody surgery that I commented negatively on. Isn't it enough that I have to wear HEADPHONES to block out the other people? Now I am going to need BLINDERS too. Then she was trying to register for something she probably shouldn't have been registering for but I answered a few of her questions anyway.

It is such an unbelievably gorgeous day. I can't believe I am sitting here facing AWAY from the windows. But all the good tables were taken, thus impeding me from using my laptop. Can't wait to get outside again to appreciate the fantastic weather. So many reasons to be glad I am retired today. Breakfast at 8:30 AM at the Amish restaurant. Two extra people showed up. Then manicure and pedicure with my favorite nail tech. Did bask in the sun for a few minutes.

Glad about: Google seems to be faster and the stock price went up to $1000. I am the happy owner of TWO shares.

Sad about: Yahoo suggested that I change my password and now I can't get into my email on my phone.

All things shall pass, even the bad ones

Usually, if I could be more patient, the neighbors will move and Yahoo will get around to fixing the things that are broken. Every time they "upgrade" I go crazy looking for things that I could do before. Just in case they aren't paying attention, I submit at least one complaining support ticket each day.

Started off with a good reunion of the French group. Now that we have had a meeting in the daytime, more hours have opened up as possible gathering times. It is absolutely amazing how difficult it is to get 5 people together, even though we are all RETIRED! Then the sun came out when it was not forecast. I LIKE those kinds of surprises. Brought leftovers down to my Wednesday hangout. My sister made some yummy quiche - one was watercress and spinach and the other was CAULIFLOWER and pepper jack cheese. How creative!

Today is election day. Even thinking about our government makes me sick. I would like to strangle some Tea Party Republicans. I can take some comfort in the fact that I live in a BLUE town in a BLUE state.

Reasons to go to the beach

Love the deserted beach. I had to run down to Ocean City as my book is due today. Read The love affairs of Nathanial P., by Adelle Waldman. From the perspective of Nate, a male writer living in Brooklyn in 1999. It's fiction.

Anyway, the beach was amazing. Tide coming in, waves roiling all which ways. Foam was blowing across the beach, it was so windy. I was enjoying all of the tracks, footprints, tire prints, shells, etc. Just took a ten minute walk. It was a bit too cold for sunbathing. I look over and there is a woman coming out of the ocean in her bathing suit!

So I came over to get my three hours of computer time at the library. Am cold and hungry right now. Should stick around to read a newspaper and a magazine. Inconsistencies of myself: I am too cheap to buy a book for the Nook, yet I will shell out $1 a day for an actual newspaper.

Heartist in resonance

No, I didn't think that up. It was on a business card of two inspiring people I met this AM in a coffee shop. Interesting take-off on Artist in residence. So, the morning was very interesting, spent with 3 friends, my sisters and various other drop-ins. Some far out and thought provoking conversation. I'm so rigid, they are so free. They are traveling around the country doing whatever comes up between visits and events, spreading their message of peace and many additional new agey kinds of ideas. They are obviously very taken with each other and their message, so I got a bit of a high off of them. But I know I need structure in my life. I can make a prison out of being retired. I liked that the man asked me what is my passion instead of what do I do. Of course, I did not have a good answer to that query, but I liked it. Possible answer thought of later...."the gathering and spreading of information".

Happy American archives month. Forwarded a page of ideas to some history people that I hang out with. Learned about this celebration through the Rock and Roll museum in Cleveland.

I must be getting USED to this weather...drizzle and rain and gloom. I thought on my way to Millville today that the dripping sky looked somewhat BRIGHTER. Upon reviewing my calendar I noticed that last weekend I was complaining that the weather was too HOT and HUMID! Never happy, that is MOI.

Sitting here with my earbuds in and I forgot to dial up Youtube. Trying to block out the sounds of other people's music dribbling out around their headphones. Also the sound of TYPING can get annoying.

The "new hot" 107.9

Came across this radio station and stayed awhile. Two women were talking ghetto trash and I was mesmerized. The music was rap, including Biggie. They played a good song I had forgotten about and can't name.

Returned a book to the Millville Library....Dad is fat, by Jim Gaffigan. He is a comedian with which I am not familiar who has 5 kids and lives in a small Brooklyn apartment. Apparently he has a famous rag on hot pockets which I must look for on Youtube.

Excursion for the day cancelled due to rain, wind, chill, dank and damp. I was supposed to be the driver for 5 women so am just as glad we didn't go. I don't like driving FAST, particularly in the rain. You are not supposed to use cruise control and that is hard for me. Of course, now it is not raining, but the forecast for the next few days is dismal. Boy, did we get spoiled with the seemingly endless run of sunny days! Instead we all got together at a newly opened restaurant called Lucy's Mexican restaurant. Lots of MEN came in, cops and I don't know who all. Might be a good place to meet men except that they were all playing with their phones. So we had our few hours of talking which we like to do monthly. Only one other woman was in the place. The waitress was cool and gave us free stuff and good advice about what to eat.

I can't take all of these changes

What is it with October and changes? Google now makes you go to a bunch of little squares, Yahoo has been revamped (again), Windows 8.1 comes out on October 18, our government is shut down, it is time to change your Medicare backup plan and your drug plan. I am really behind the times as I prefer WORDS to icons or pictures. Words seem to be on the way out.

I'd like to add a spot on this blog for books finished and songs listened to, but not quite sure how to do that. Just finished Bad monkey by Carl Hiaasen. He has really gone over the top with craziness in this novel. I heard him speak once and he does get his ideas sometimes from actual news events. And life does tend to be nuts in South Florida.

Have frittered away the day hanging at the historical library with a group of convivial people. Weather dreary. Even worse weather forecast for tomorrow when I have an excursion planned to Grounds for sculpture in North Jersey.

The best thing about today

was a great sunset which I admired through the windows of the Cumberland County Library. Otherwise quite a boring day. Absolutely no events on the calendar and so the day just got frittered away. I did read for an hour.

On the turntable, I mean YouTube....I don't care by Icona Pop.

Had an excursion planned for Thursday. That is one reason I just vegged out today. But now the weather looks dismal and plans are getting cancelled. I guess that is for the best since I was driving and the Grounds for sculpture is two hours away. Seems like this happens a lot with our planned events and it is so HARD to get 5 or 6 people to agree on a date and a plan. RATS! And that is the name of the very expensive country French restaurant we could have eaten at.

I almost went swimming today

August in October they are calling it. The longest run of over 80 degree weather since 1990.

Just had to come to the library for a soothing air-conditioned computer fix. OK, I DID exercise.... I rode a bike to get the tires filled up with air. Then on the way home, I got a flat tire and had to walk the bike the rest of the way. And a high of 89 degrees was predicted today. Plus, it is humid. Trying to get ready for a bike and brunch next week. Have not enjoyed my last few bike rides. Admiring the nice new bikes downtown. But me and big ticket items do not get along. Looked at a recumbant bike today and can't see myself in it. Tiny little wheels!

Going to a dinner. A lot of schmoozing and overeating and perhaps boredom.

On the turntable

In my case, it is on YouTube....Listening to the top songs on iTunes to see if any of them are worth adding to my playlist on YouTube (I am too FRUGAL for iTunes). So far have only added Royals by Lorde. Enjoying my two hour stint on the public computers at the Cumberland County Library. Had to turn on the headphones due to the incessant re-dialing of the FAX machine. They put it on automatic redial and it redials immediately after it finishes dialing.
And it is REALLY loud.

Have accomplished yoga and getting online already. Can coast for the rest of the day. Even had a sociable coffee with friends down at the Cohansey Cafe in Bridgeton before yoga. Almost hesitate to buy coffee cause then I won't have an excuse to patronize my sister's cafe every weekday.

Rain today causing me great shock. We have been waking up to sunshine every day for weeks now. I even forgot about the fact that my roof leaks. Am too frugal to get new gutters and new windows. Can I get through another winter? Dreading it. Uncomfortable at home when it is real cold. Must plan some trips?

I was on my way to Morocco once

but I got waylaid in Barcelona (LAID being the operative word). I met a man in the park and ended up living with him for sixth months. Never did get to Morocco.

Another great story about people meeting online. I am listening to it. Not sure if I want to meet someone. I have gotten so unadventurous in my old age.

Today was going to be my EXCURSION day. I even have a FOLDER called excursions. I looked at the first 10 papers but could not decide. Have run out of energy, ideas and money. So am doing the same old, same old. Breakfast date, laptop hoboing, art opening tonight. There is something comforting about my routines.

I dread picking up the phone these days

Usually it is a machine, or a salesman, or a butt-dial, or a dead space. I don't really want to exert myself to get it, but then, when I call people, they never answer either. Life is one big game of phone tag.

Spent a goodly number of hours in my own home this afternoon. A rare event, for moi. Enjoyed it, for the most part. I puttered, I read, I listened to NPR, I almost took a nap. Had to leave in the middle to do a couple of errands. Luckily, the neighborhood was pretty quiet. Only the sounds of home maintenance projects were in the air. Well, there were a few echos of distant yapping dogs, but I chose to ignore. I will be taking a walk soon to find out where these dogs live so that I can sic the dog catcher on them.

Thinking about my doctor visit yesterday and pondering whether I should write some online reviews. I have dermatologists figured out....they insist upon chopping you up, then they give you more than one prescription which may hurt more than it helps. I liked the way I got to see the actual doctor and it was nice that she had two people in the room with her, but when I look at the report it is totally confusing and contradictory. I give up on thoughts of obtaining clarification from the snotty office staff. The doctor said to come back in two weeks, but the office staff said she has no availability for two months! This is just plain aggravating! Then she has me applying two different creams, vaseline, AND an $85 saran-wrap kind of thing. How, I would like to ask her, is all of this supposed to work together? Oh, what the heck. I may as well call the dreadful office staff and give them an earful.

Government by tantrum

Yes, that is what we have in the United States of America. The Republicans all strike me as hard-edged, white, too thin, uptight, tight-lipped, tight-assed whiners. Get over it, please, and let's just TRY the Affordable health act. I refuse to call it OBAMACARE any more. I think that just encourages them and discourages the American public. What is so bad about socialized medicine, after all? Medicare is the greatest thing that ever happened to me. At least one thing in life just occurs and it is a good thing. No decisions needed, not much paperwork involved and it saves you money.

Sitting on the porch of the New Dodge's market in Elmer. It was on my list of places to use the wireless. However, it is on a REALLY busy and noisy intersection of Route 40 and some other street and it is very unpleasant. The weather is great, however, and unseasonably warm. Had a delicious salad with a fabulous salad dressing.

Time to get back to Bridgeton and buy my new and old prescriptions. Ready for a rest. Had a biopsy even though I went into the dermatologist determined to not get cut. This is practically impossible when you visit this (or any) dermatologist as we all know. I vow to try harder to not scratch. I felt the visit was worth it and perhaps there is HOPE for the future. Hard to be positive when you have had a skin disorder for 16 months! (Can't believe how time flies). She wanted to know if I was anxious (just about the neighbors) or depressed, (no, but I AM highly medicated). Scratching is related to OCD (OK< I admit it, I do have that).

Aged goods

Spotted this sign on an abandoned bar as I drove through Millville, New Jersey, today. It used to say PACKAGED GOODS but the "pack" got torn off.

So happy whilst walking on the Ocean City boardwalk today. The sun! The breezes! The unseasonably warm weather! The polite and quiet people! I am so hating my town (Bridgeton) these days. I think I could live at the beach or somewhere far, far away from annoying people. So many beach towns within an hour of my house. But it seems more and more people are heading to Ocean City, America's family resort. Maybe because there are so many rentals there? Or because it is a dry town? Last September I was a bit lonely while renting there, but maybe it depends on my mood? I like peace and quiet and I am surrounded by LOUD people with bad grammar and lots of cursing. Also yapping dogs. Even if the dog is houses away from me, it bugs me to no end. I have this week taken to wearing earplugs but they don't help that much. And you can only use them when you AREN'T listening to NPR. Have added earplugs to my really long shopping list.

I guess the other alternative is to be home less. Or travel more. Or sleep elsewhere. Only slept away from home ONE NIGHT the whole summer.

Threshold amnesia?

I was told this is an actual condition, but maybe he was kidding? Whereby upon going from one room to another, you forget why you came in there.

Had great fun at an antiques appraisal yesterday. Had never been to something like that, but plenty of people came lugging their treasures. I was helping to organize the people waiting. We were there for 4 hours, had 54 people with over 100 items. The man doing it was very entertaining and I learned a lot. Of course, it is very hard for me to part with anything, but it is fun to dream about the possible value of your possessions. I vowed to start taking better care of my STUFF. I brought a Hummel figure of a kid playing doctor. While Hummels are too plentiful to be very valuable, it seems things like doctors could be worth more. Must research online. There are websites devoted to Hummel figurines. Then I had a tin lantern with a candle in it. My great aunt told me that she had a darkroom and made postcards. The appraiser suggested researching photographic collectibles for that one. Also, I should see if I can find any of her postcards for sale online. I know, it is a longshot.

The weather has been so phenomenal this fall! Every day I wake up to the same gorgeous sunny weather as the day before.

Job titles I would like to have

Wouldn't it be nice to tell someone at a party that you were an "Equine portrait photographer"?

One of my pet peeves is people who talk on their cell phones WHILE THEY ARE WORKING, especially when they aren't even speaking English. I think it was a Cambodian nail technician that brought on THIS rant. Then one of the other workers turned on his MAC and started blaring some program in another language even though the TV was on. Grrrr.... The manicure was OK but the ambiance was terrible. Won't be going back there soon or ever.

I fear I am getting early-onset Alzheimer's. (Also have been unable to resolve the issue that once I heard that there was no longer an apostrophe in Alzheimer's but that seems to have been a DREAM). I went to get my haircut and couldn't remember which side I parted my hair on. Can I blame it on the mirror effect? A few days ago I went to pick up a friend at the bus station and had trouble remembering exactly what exit and which road to turn around on. Is it NORMAL aging or ABNORMAL aging? I do feel somewhat foggy even when I am NOT taking a pain pill or a Xanax.

Living like hobos in their own home

Strikes too close to home. Finished a book called Coming clean, by Kimberly Rae Miller, about growing up with parents who were hoarders. She wasn't ever able to cure them.

Things I like:
- Driving slowly through the country
- Xanax
- perfectly gorgeous weather
- leftovers

Things I don't like:
- Four-way stops
- library computers getting too old
- big fat mice
= traffic and confusion

A lot of work going on. Seems like everywhere I look there are people sawing, trash containers being delivered, hammering, etc. Even I had some work done. I had people trim some trees. I think I should do it every year instead of every ten years. Can actually sunbathe now.

Got rid of some stuff today

Had some trees trimmed in the back yard. Workmen and change make me nervous so I couldn't relax until they were done. I also took a Xanax to help forget about the stress. The guy came with about 8 helpers (he promised me 3). They were all over the place and making one heck of a racket. I do like the final result and will consider having a trim every year instead of once every ten years. Of course, the LAST time my father owned the property and paid for the trim.

Going to court tomorrow and am totally unprepared. It is really the mediation ordered by the court. I am sure it will be just as big a waste of time as the court was. Embarrassing, too, since I am complaining about the barking pit bull next door and the dog DIED. I called and they said you can't cancel the appointment even if the dog is dead.

Brought my own computer to the library today as the computers here are getting really old and sluggish and most of them have big fat mice. I am just so hard to please.

You ain't prejudiced, is you?

This question was followed by a request for money, making me doubt the veracity of my NOT being prejudiced. The other thing that happened as I was hanging around in downtown Bridgeton, was observing a very Black woman crossing the street and muttering, "Fuckin' white people!" Was I the cause of this muttering? Just made me realize why no one likes to come downtown.

I should be thankful for being ALIVE today, as I took a very nasty tumble last night. You think that you are going to be careful and that nothing bad is going to happen to you and the next thing you know you are one step from the bottom of a flight of stairs, upside down and wedged in. If I hadn't recently lost some weight, I would STILL be there. It was rather a feat to get myself extricated from that situation but I was all alone and it was dark. What other choice did I have? AM starting to feel a bit better, but don't know WHAT or WHO to thank....my doctor? the ice? the Naproxen? the pain pill? my massage therapist? my chiropractor? All I can say is THANK GOD. I do not need a broken hip. This is why I like to get home before dark and STAY THERE. I took a step, it was dark, I misjudged the step and suddenly was flying through the air.

Before this occurred, I drove over to the local high school stadium to take a walk/jog. All along both sides of the street there were signs posted "No parking this side". This is what is wrong with America. NO ONE is allowed to park in a convenient location!

"Something smells like it is burning.....

Oh, it's sawdust". My sister's partner has a wood shop and they are serving coffee in the front part. This is the third day of regular hours and they are already thinking of what else to do. I tried to look up business licenses in the code of the City of Bridgeton, but I couldn't get anywhere.

I had a good experience yesterday. Well, first a BAD experience. Unbeknownst to me, my credit card fell out of my pocket and was laying on the street downtown. A kind, honest lady picked it up and called the bank. They called me and I walked downtown to get it from an employee of the WIC office. The buildings were very poorly marked. Crazy numbers and old names of organizations. I guess you have to KNOW about it to find it. A lot of security. Can't get into any buildings without ringing a buzzer. I snuck into a preschool along with a lady and her tiny daughter. They rang the buzzer and when questioned, she said (in Spanish), "I'm here to pick up my baby". Had to ask various people and be personally led by a person I remembered from my old job. Along the way to the very-well-hidden WIC office, I discovered a fruit and vegetable market. I think it is for poor people but I am going to go. It is sort of hidden halfway down a parking lot and is there Tuesdays - Fridays (not sure of the hours). All this within a few blocks of my house!

Not feeling really great. Allergies for one thing. A variety of rashes, digestive difficulties and general tiredness round out the picture. Seems like I am slowing down every day. Weather went from HOT to COLD. I guess it is just the usual shock to the system that another season is coming upon us. I thought I would be so happy when the heat ended. A friend was very jealous when I told her I couldn't remember the last time I set the alarm.

Way too late to go home early now

I thought this was a clever tune title by the Grassy Knoll Boys. They sang it on Prairie Home Companion, my favorite Saturday night radio show. It SEEMED like a new show, but I'm not really sure. My favorite singer was on (Jearlyn Steele) but I have heard him talk about her grandchildren and her degrees previously. I worry about Garrison Keillor retiring as I recently learned he turned 71. But, I suppose I could go on happily listening to reruns and not even notice. I am allowed to retire but my doctor and my radio show hosts are NOT.

I was the first customer at my sister's coffee shop today. Conveniently located several blocks from my house, it provided me with coffee and a croissant, neither of which I have currently at home. Perhaps I should start a new list for a person (or persons) I tell about it every day. Not sure how they are really going to commit to a schedule nor what hassles are involved in getting permits for this, but fun to dream.

Physically not up to par lately. Today did yoga which helped not hindered. But now I just feel like taking a NAP.
Conditions and pains in several locations.

If only I had a window

Feeling good, having taken a few pain killers due to feeling bad. Also listening to Youtube (Goyte) which makes me happy. Am at my favorite library computer lab (Ocean City). It could only be more perfect if there was a WINDOW as it is a beautiful day. Sunny, breezy, cool clouds and not too hot. I did my obligatory "Vitamin D bath" on the porch of the Port-o-Call hotel at 1501 Boardwalk. The sun was really HOT. Then I tried to visit an older person but was told she was resting.

A terrible fire yesterday on the Seaside heights boardwalk. These businesses had not all recovered yet from Hurricane Sandy. Maybe that is why I feel so drawn to the beach recently. Not sure if the world/shore as I know it will survive. The new homes look really weird. They are way up high and look very handicap INaccessible. I welcome any excuse to come down to the shore. Today it was our annual breakfast in Ocean City. Ate overlooking the ocean in the Parrot bird grill at the Port-O-Call hotel.

A friend is going to the Miss America parade today. It IS kind of exciting to have it back in Atlantic City. But I can't take too much walking and standing around so I am not going. One new activity per day is enough for me.

Eighth from the bottom

Having a lot of trouble with this blog. Clicked on HTML...will see if it works.

Contest over at health club. I am just not competitive, I guess because I LOSE. This time I was number 8 from the bottom. We were supposed to earn miles and get to Sea Isle City or Maryland. I think I only got to Mays Landing. Only completed 13 miles. Well, in addition to not being competitive, I have a lot of distractions, such as yoga, arthritis exercise class, aqua aerobics, swimming, and today, I just plain overslept and did not have time for ANY exercise.

I just don't GET computer stuff. For instance, I saw that this was showing the time as Pacific time. I don't really WANT that but was unable to figure out how to change it. Grumble, grumble.....

What was that thought

I had a good thought today and was going to blog it.  But now I have forgotten what it was.  Perhaps I SHOULD get a phone upon which I can blog.  Still procrastinating about the phone upgrade.  Too many decisions involved.  "Need" a new phone, perhaps a new provider and am reluctant to get into any two year contract.

Summer's last gasp today and tomorrow.  Supposed to be over 93 degrees today.  My comfort zone is under 80 degrees. 

Went to the beach yesterday.  Not so pleasant due to blowing sand.  No bugs at least.  Almost got too much sun, not quite.  Had a delicious lunch at Yanni's.  This was their third location, which I have never visited.  I have lunched at the other two locations, one on the boardwalk and one in the library.  The new 9th Street bridge is quite something but I do not enjoy driving that way due to the Beasley Point Bridge being out.  The Ocean City bridge is full of walkers and bikers.

The reminiscence bump

I heard about it on NPR...that time period between age 18 and 25 when events are indelibly etched into your brain and psyche even if you are high a lot of the time.  Studies have shown that music heard, books read, loves experienced during those years tend to stay in your memory and be preferred even into your dotage.  Having just had events of that time period written about in a newspaper, I tend to agree.

Am sitting in the Cumberland County library using my own laptop.  Can't print but CAN blog.  One must make one's compromises.

Woke up feeling like I had been run over by a tractor trailer.  I think it is hay fever time.  I used to take three different meds year round for allergies but gave them up in my retirement due to the expense.  But this is my historical time for hay fever before I got deluded into thinking that I had constant allergies.  I took a Claritin.

Bridgeton noise complaint ends in dead silence

I went to the City Council to complain about the neighbors and a reporter there put it into a NEWS article in the paper!  The online title was better.  The title in the paper was "Dog complaint ends in tragedy".  I am not used to being so OUT.  In the papers twice in one week.  Time to go back under my rock.

Hate rushing around to get my Internet in and my exercise in on the weekends.  Everything closes early....libraries, the pool and the health club.  Sunday is even worse.  There are NO libraries, pool closes at 4 and health club at 3.  Barely enough time to get to church and lunch and have time for anything else.  Sigh...

Flash drive is a mess. Can't open and save to a new place.  Have to copy and paste each document into a new document and then save it.  I bought a new flash drive and it has STUFF on it which I do not understand.  Better leave it there.  It is a Cruzer something.  Doesn't even come up as a flash drive.  I HATE progress.

Ding dong, the dog is dead...

Did I tell the tale of the barking pit bull next door?  Went to city council to complain about it and learned that the dog was killed that very same day.  I didn't know whether to laugh or cry.  Heard on the Oprah channel that she has owned 21 dogs in her adulthood and that she once had 11 dogs at once.  How is this even possible?  Bet there was some barking around THAT mansion!

Have been in a bad mood lately.  Can I blame it on my town?  Would a vacation help?  Do I need to move?  But then we have to deal with the issue of STUFF.  The amount of it that I own impedes me from movement.  I am a peace-loving librarian and Quaker and my neighborhood is getting too noisy and aggravating.  Now that I am retired I have too much time to notice exactly how annoying my neighbors really are.  I try to be patient and wait them out, but I can't take all of the coming and going and screaming kids, people spitting off porch, barking dogs.  We just don't DO that on Commerce St.

My flash drive has started to go.  Now I regret that I do not have it backed up.  Why do I always assume that things are going to last, when I know how many address books and electronic versions I have been through?  So my whole entire life is on this one flash drive and now I can't create files or change any documents.  So far I can still READ them, but not sure I have the skills to copy a flash drive.  And I certainly don't want to copy any bugs if I have any.  I don't remember anyone HAVING problems with flash drives at the library.  But I have been using this same one for a year and a half.

Do I have a "negative dispositional attitude"

Although I do see a lot of LIKES and DISLIKES in the world, I probably tend more to the DISLIKES.  Want to read the academic article which lies behind the popular press articles (one of which I posted) on this topic. 

Then again, I take pleasure in positive comments, even if made by an older, blacker, flirtacious man in McDonald's....."I keep track of everything around here, especially the young and pretty girls".  I didn't really respond but I think he meant ME!

Really need to do some stuff at home but it is grey and humid and too quiet.  So I came out to McDonald's to get some breakfast and some coffee and to use the Internet.
Summer's over...what is the plan for my life?

I don't want Yahoo to be just like Google

But now Yahoo is changing it's typeface every day to be more like Google.  They already changed the email to be more like Google.

I am getting so confused about apostrophes...and ALL punctuation to be exact.  I thought there was no longer an apostrophe in Alzheimers but the poster of the organization out in the lobby has one.

And I am about to get booted off of this computer as I AM a laptop hobo!

Coffee shops look to oust 'laptop hobos'

Coffee shops look to oust 'laptop hobos'

I miss bumper stickers

I saw two good bumper stickers today. There were quite a few on this car and you don't see THAT any more either! 

- "I listened to NPR before it was cool".
- "Are you hearing voices of crazy people?  Turn off FOX news".

Holiday weekend approaches.  I don't like holidays.  Nothing is ever happening due to the holiday.  I never have any plans.  I emailed my sisters and none of them have any plans either.

Torrential rains yesterday.  Ceiling leaking again.  I guess a leaking ceiling never gets any better, only worse.  (One can always HOPE, can't one?)  So here are my main problems today...

- a leaking ceiling (roof)
- a dead bat somewhere in my house
- a barking pit bull next door
- cell phone battery is inexplicably dying and I need to make some phone calls
- rash on my leg is starting to itch again

Other than that, life is just hunky dory.  I will try and think of some GOOD things now...

- the competition at the health club is almost over so I can stop feeling inadequate
- I am starting to walk better due to losing weight
- everybody is very well behaved over here at the Vineland Public Library
- I rebooted my laptop and overcame the nonfunctioning
- Serena Williams is one hunk of a woman (I just perused Tennis magazine)

Low productivity today

Can't get focused today.  Day looking increasingly threatening.  I think it may have finally started to rain.  August has been amazingly pleasant, as Augusts go.  It got to 90 degrees the other day for the first time since July.  I have been enjoying the pool.

Book review: Neighbor law, by Cora Jordan (c2006). Read this fascinating book on my Nook.  Actually borrowed it through the Overdrive system at the Vineland Public Library.  Chapters on dogs, fences, boundaries and other topics of interest to me.  Also learned about things that other people could sue ME for, such as my falling down fence.

Book review: Quite enough of Calvin Trillin : forty years of funny stuff, by Calvin Trillin (c2011).  My sister gave me this book for Christmas and I greatly enjoyed it.  Short essays and poems, just right for my attention span.  The offerings are divided up under topic headings, such as "English and some languages I don't speak".  The very first story is called "Chubby" and relates to a story about a collie dog and finding out the real truth about what happened to him later in life.  He didn't really "go to the farm".  I had a very similar tale about Mandy the lamb so I loved this story, which was really about memory.  I also enjoyed the story called "Paper trails" about the difficulties of composing a note to put on your car.  As the essays and poems are dated, it serves as a bit of reminder of our history.

Living with a bat

Freaked out by a bat the other night.  Ran into another room and then it quieted down.
Have had discussions lately with friends about how to handle bats.  Supposedly there is a $500 fine for killing a bat.  I had not had one for decades.  I did volunteer to move one at church.  It turned out to be dead, but I didn't know that when I volunteered.  So, I actually went to sleep knowing that there was a bat in my house (the power of Ambien).  The next morning I saw it resting above my kitchen cabinet.  By the time I got organized to get it, it had MOVED and I didn't know where it went.  So, the next night, it started flying around at 8 PM and I ran into the other room to escape it.  I think it may have gotten trapped in some clutter and expired.  But I will have to go home around 8 PM to see if it flying around.  I thought bats could get out of any spot.

Put out the recycling tonight.  People are going to think I am a lush.  Some people had a party behind my house this week.  They thoughtfully put 5 empty bottles of Hurricane malt liquor in my recycling bin.  I had to pick up some black plastic bags that they carried the bottles in, but...

Pros and cons of my day....

Cons:
- struggled with my oral surgeon while he "pulled" two wisdom teeth
- the pain of the needles going in to give me the novocaine
- getting a paper telling me about possible swelling and pain for ten days
- missed the VMAs on TV last night cause I didn't even know they were on
- no dental insurance now that I am retired

Pros:
- watching some YouTube videos by Anna Kendrick and Mackelmore
- neighborhood peaceful today
- yoga this AM at Cumberland County Library
- got some really good pain pills from the oral surgeon
- a friend who had emergency surgery is doing better
- doctor gave me 20% off due to my lack of insurance

Sittin' on the "group W" bench

I went to Municipal court this week.  I forgot to take a Xanax and I really needed it.  Felt like Arlo Guthrie, sittin' on the" group W" bench, with mother stabbers and father rapers and the like (listen to the song/album called Alice's Restaurant if you don't know what I am talking about).  I sat there for a deadly but entertaining and educational three hours listening to all the other cases.  Finally got called in to the prosecutor and felt like she blew me off (actually I should have had a succinct statement ready).  I had a one page document and a chart of all of my neighborhood annoyances, but a 15 word statement would have been more to the point.  She referred my case to "neighborhood disputes" of which I had never heard.  I guess it is some kind of mediation which I learned about reading a really fascinating book called "Neighbor law", put out by Nolo Press. ( I really should have read the one called "Dog law").  I signed a complaint against my neighbor who insists on having a pit bull live on her steps.  I have lost the use of my yard and the peace and quiet of my home due to the barking.

It was horrible being in court, even though I was the filer of a complaint and not the perpetrator of a crime.  They made everyone, complainer and criminal alike, wait in this tiny vestibule with no chairs for a half an hour before letting anyone enter the court. THAT was awkward, but I got the feeling that lots of these people do this very often.   I was out on the porch listening to a woman and a man talk about their domestic violence history, where one person files a complaint and then the other person turns around and countersues.  When the police come around to serve them with papers they just don't open the door.  When they do get into court they generally say that they aren't going to press charges.  What an unpleasant way to spend your afternoons!  It is just a game and a big waste of time.  The woman talked about just getting an ROR.  What's that, I asked.  Release On Recognizance, she said, (but she didn't pronounce it properly).  Some of the people had multiple "crimes" at once....driving offenses, domestic violence, paraphernalia possession.  One guy didn't know (me either) that on the third paraphernalia offense you get a mandatory 90 days in jail.  He was wearing orange at the time.  A really FAT white woman came up and declined to press charges against him.  Then ANOTHER large white women was there with a black guy and as they walked out, having declined to press charges, I noticed a large hickey on her neck.  Some of the people were polite, some had major attitude and some were snickering.    I did learn of some unsavory individuals who live near me. 

Below you will see a photo of a flower blooming at Giverny in July.  I borrowed this pic from a blog I read called Eye prefer Paris (doesn't everyone?)  He said that July was  REALLY hot in France, just like it was here.  I need to take time out of every day to enjoy beauty and calm and elegance.  Thinking about my vacation in France is quite pleasant.  I need to start thinking about the next stage of my life.  Living in Bridgeton is getting pretty taxing, what with the changing neighborhoods.  Too much coming and going around me and people who think the barking of pit bulls is not annoying.

I don't watch TV

I just listen to radio shows ABOUT TV! NPR seems to be obsessed with all of these shows on HBO. I know they are all the rage, but I am one of the many HBO-deprived amongst us. My TV watching consists of moving around the dial and watching 5 minutes of a few shows or until the commercial comes on. I prefer old 1/2 hour sit-coms. (Yeah...I'm just an old fuddy duddy!) Here is what I like:
- Seinfeld
- Everybody loves Raymond
- Mind TV - 5 minute self produced videos
- The big bang theory
- The golden girls
That said, I rarely watch anything on purpose, other than 60 minutes. I am SO behind the curve. Heard about a new book called Difficult men, featuring the new anti-hero in television series, such as The sopranos, Breaking bad, etc. All the heros now seem to be gangsters, meth makers, prisoners. Thought about getting that book for my sister as she has watched all of these shows enthusiastically.

Book review: The Lumby lines, by Gail Fraser. This was recommended by a friend. I was not able to finish it as it became overdue at the Cape May Court house Library (F Fra). It was the first in a series. Lumby is a small fictional town in the Northwest. Two out-of-towners buy an old abbey and renovate it to be an Inn. They get to know people from this small town, some supportive and some not so. Some of the obstructionists are powerful people in the town. I found the book a bit too cutesy or maybe I just wasn't in the mood. Interestingly, the cover art is by the husband of the author and depicts the town in a primitive style.

Book review: Here, there, elsewhere: stories from the road, by William Least Heat-Moon. I have sort of forgotten about this author since his seminal work, Blue highways. He was quoted in an article somewhere so I decided to give him another look. This is a collection of short essays from throughout his career. While he does visit interesting places, and provides maps and black & white images, I found it hard to stick with. I wished that some of the images were in color. He does have a knack for getting around. Very helpful indeed is the index of places at the end. I got this book on interlibrary loan from the Woodbury Library. Unfortunately, now that I have retired, I have to PAY if my books are late so I am returning this one not completely read. (910.4 Hea)

The only thing "stronger than the storm" is Chris Christie's ego

I could agree with that. Today we are having a multi-billion dollar special election in New Jersey for the primary seat of Frank Lautenberg. The reason for this special election? SO that Christie won't have to be on the same BALLOT with Corey Booker! Boy, is it hard to pick between the party people. They are ALL good, or bad, depending on how you look at it.

Not sure if that is actually the picture of the book I read upon a friend's recommendation. Saving Ceecee Honeycutt is by Beth Hoffman. It was a delightful read about a young girl who has a dysfunctional family and is sent down South to live with an older woman when her mother dies. She meets some interesting characters down there and becomes especially close with the black woman who works for the aunt. I borrowed this book from the Cape May Court House library (LT F HOF) and must return it tomorrow so I don't get fined. Have to drive an hour to take two books back.

More and more things are becoming problematic on the public computers at libraries. Not to mention the problems I am having with THE PUBLIC. I should be a hermit, there are so many things which bother me....barking pit bulls, running children, loud people, littering people, ignorant people, crowds, traffic. In fact, I have thought of stopping my writing because all I seem to be doing is WHINING.

Flashbacks of working with the public

My foray into the public library of my town was ruined last night by a really annoying guy....first he was watching YouTube with headphones on and laughing out loud, sniffling, snorting, wiping his nose on his arm. Then he demanded more time from the librarian (you know how you just can't stop watching YouTube). When she said that he had used up his allowable time for the day he went on a rant about how no one else was there wanting to use the computers, how terrible the service at the library is and how racist the staff is. Then he went off in Spanish telling his new best friend in not very nice Spanish the same things. The Mexican library worker took him to task and it really got ugly.
He finally stomped out swearing that tomorrow he would call the "head librarian" of New Jersey and tell them the same unpleasant things about the library. Not a very good experience since I have been avoiding this library for a month due to:
- one hour limit on computers
- no room for my STUFF next to the computers
- the big fat mouse that I hate (it's a Gateway)
- no handicap ramp so I can wheel my STUFF
On the plus side they have:
- a new director

Will look for a picture of my favorite flowers of the moment. A big bunch at entrance to Cumberland County Library make me glad each time I see them. I learned in Cape May yesterday that they are a sort of hydrangea. Can't seem to get pic but it is a Snow queen oakleaf hydrangea.

You want weapons?

On NPR this AM I learned that there have been 12 guys who have played Dr. Who and that Dr. Who is the hero of the millenial generation. He is a pacifist and a cerebral guy. Not really familiar, myself, but I liked this quote:
"You want weapons? We're in a library. Books are the best weapon in the world. This room's the greatest arsenal we could have. Arm yourself!"

Just ate a peach. A white peach from a local farm market. It was pretty delicious. Cantalopes rumoured to be mostly tasteless this year. And I paid $3.50 for one.

Things I would like at the moment:
- a vacation (but I have too many appointments)
- to live on a cliff alone overlooking the water
- more classical music in my life (finding it very restful)
- to be surrounded by well-spoken, informed people
- some new and more friends

Laptop day is the best

Wednesday is the day I just play on my laptop ALL DAY (10 til 4) while I hang out at the historical library. I always bring something from a bakery even though I should not be setting foot in a bakery. You could say I am focused but really, it is the perfect activity for someone with ADD as I am jumping from here to there and back at the slightest whim. It is raining out and the weather forecast includes some rain every day for the foreseeable future. Thankful that it is not too hot anyway.

Just listened to a program about Bad neighbors. Guess I am not very tolerant. I remember decades ago when my girlfriend and I attended a workshop on becoming more tolerant. All we could talk about afterwards was our criticisms of the other people at the workshop so I think the whole thing backfired or just plain did not work for us.
I did feel somewhat better as I was reminded of situations that I DON'T have to put up with. Where can I go to escape the annoyances of life? Even at those exclusive retirement places which I cannot afford, there are always new, younger, annoying people moving in and cliques and pecking orders. Saw a painting of a falling down hermit cabin and I wanted it. I know I have plenty of annoying habits but all I can think about are the noise and litter of my new neighbors. Why do they have to have so many family members and friends and dogs and coming and goings? Why can't they just behave and live quietly INSIDE like I do. And I get angry at the landlords who just want to collect the rent. Each tenant situation is worse than the one before. They have no boundaries and are always making noise and causing trash on MY property and then their pit bull BARKS at me when I am picking up their trash.

Wonder where I can get some dental insurance in time to have four wisdom teeth removed in a few weeks? It is not fun getting older. Mommy and daddy had such good teeth. What is the matter with us? I used to think root canals were a rip off, then it was implants, now it is just pull'em out.

It is hard to get ENERGIZED for Monday morning yoga

OK, it DOES work in the lab. For some reason, blogger does not work on SOME library computers. Drat! This is where I DO blogger. So, the tech guy suggested that I try it in the LAB. I told him I had the same problem at the Cumberland County Library and also at the Millville Library but that on my laptop it works.

It is hard to get energized for Monday morning yoga after taking an anti-anxiety pill due to barking pit bull of neighbors. Can't believe that Dan Gottlieb is talking about BAD NEIGHBORS right now on NPR. But it is not being broadcast right now. I love that man. He is in a wheelchair and has the most valuable insights about psychological and spiritual matters. He is also PSYCHIC about my own personal problems! Voices in the family may be on the radio every day at noon. I recommend it!

The weather is so unbelievably perfect, I can't stop thinking about it and talking about it. Also obsessed with the topic of neighbors, but weather is so much more enjoyable. Going down to the shore tonight to see my sister and her family for a few hours. We are all too busy to get together. Actually, I am glad to have a reason to not be home as my home is not an enjoyable destination right now. Passive/aggressive neighbors with obnoxious pit bull and too much noise and trash in general.

Weird Hawaiian music

Trying to fit everything in today. Exercise is getting short shrift. Starbucks not so enjoyable. It was too hot outside even though it is a BEAUTIFUL day. My favorite (big) table became free but it is too sunny in here and they are playing a really weird Hawaiian album. Drinking an unnecessary decaf skinny mocha tall thingy.

Don't really want to go home because of my new-found hatred of the neighbors. They are flaunting their "right" to have a barking pit bull ruin my life. Every day I have to fight the ANTS and the NEIGHBORS. Did start a new obsessive/compulsive system of tracking the events in the neighborhood. Listing time spent at home (not much) and counting the incidents of neighbor aggravation (16 yesterday). Also counting the amount of trash I pick up daily (7 today). This is all fodder for my future letters and court cases (if any). I was happy that the code enforcement made them pick up trash in their yard. I am on anxiety meds and can't sleep for thinking about how unhappy I am living in my town. Most everyone with money and sense has moved out! No wonder I look on FOR RENT signs with trepidation. At least my sister's tenants and myself are united in our hatred of the neighbors. I am supposed to do something each day on that issue to make myself feel a bit better. Was going to make an Excel spreadsheet but I think I have a better plan.

The weather has been great, wonderful, fabulous for over a week. Summer is not so bad after all. Today sat by the lake in the sun or the shade, felt the breezes, talked to friends and ate hot dogs and snacks. Spectacular clouds and crisp air and scenery. It is good to have friends when I am feeling under attack by the pit bull and the inconsiderate neighbors.

This video makes me happy

So many things are NOT making me happy today.  Let's focus on the great weather and the coolness of Sade in Soldier of love!  Gee, I hope that this link does not subject you to my ENTIRE playlist!  Just a neophyte with all of this.

Book review: Executive privilege, by Phillip Margolin.  I think I got this book on a "free Friday" from Barnes and Noble.  It is a nice way to get books you have never heard of.  The only problem is that I can't manage to DELETE the free Friday books off of my Nook.  Anyway, it was OK.  Too many characters and a lot of jumping around.  An implausible plot where the President of the United States is suspected of murdering young girls he had affairs with.  It turns out to be HIS WIFE.  There, I ruined it for you.

Book review: The interestings, by Meg Wolitzer.  Just my kind of book, borrowed from the Millville Public Library (F WOLITZER).  It follows a group of people who meet at camp in the 1970's (?)  Through the passage of time, most of them maintain a relationship which includes love requited and unrequited, a gay guy, troubled spirits, success and not, wealth and poverty, diseases and various adventures and disappointments as they age.  They called their little group "The interestings".

Getting behinder

. 

Books by the bed at home - eleven.  Have taken to reading every time I wake up in the night.
Also binged on cereal and fruit last night.  I shouldn't really have cereal in the house, especially the kind I like to buy even though I know I shouldn't.  I buy one healthy cereal and one "fun" (sugary) cereal.  Have "neighbor anxiety" which makes it difficult to sleep.

Yelled at the neighbor kids again yesterday.  The barking dog threw me over the edge and I rushed out in a frenzy of discontent.  Would I have the nerve to do something so rude and aggressive if they weren't defenseless foreigners?  They actually went and told their mother (who we NEVER see) and came over and rang my doorbell.  So I went out and next door and halfway up the steps and talked to A.  She feels we are harassing her by calling the authorities to come and investigate dog situation (I am not the only one who is calling).  I feel she has no concept of being a good neighbor.  When it came down to it, she says she is allowed to have a dog and dogs bark.  P., the pitbull,  barks many times a day and not in a nice way.  She also tears stuff up and spreads it all over their yard and mine and deposits unmentionables on my property.  I gathered up such and placed it on their porch.  I really should be nicer to the kids and may wait a week before taking further action.  I really want them to leave.  Also, a couple of guys were seen arriving with suitcases yesterday.

I did finish two books yesterday.

Book review: The complete potter, by Steve Mattison.  A good overview of making pots.  Each page includes one or two topics/methods with beautiful photos of procedures and finished pieces, giving credit to the potter and explanations of the pieces.  This book is available at the Vineland Public Library (738 Mat)

Book review:  The sweet life in Paris, by David Lebovitz. Started reading this BEFORE I went to Paris in May and was determined to finish it.  According to David, only 20% of Americans have passports and we are used to foreigners on our turf and not so good at dealing with them when they are on their own turf.  "The unspoken rule if you plan to live here - but equally good to adopt even if you're just coming for a visit - is knowing that you're going to be judged on how you look and how you present yourself.  Yes, even if you're just dumping your garbage."  I guess I should have mentioned that David is a chef from New York who moved to Paris.  The book includes several great recipes such as floating island (made by Julia Child and my grandmother) and Gateau Breton (made only one day a week at a bakery near the Pont Neuf where I lived after college).  I didn't copy the recipe for Ile flotant on page 28 because it looks really complicated and takes up three pages and I don't cook.  When people ask him how long it took him to become fluent in French, he points out that even the FRENCH are not fluent in French.  "One of the first words I learned in French class was raleur, which means 'someone who complains'.  Maybe it's la grisaille, the dull, gray skies that hang over Paris, causing la morosite ambiente, the all-encompassing gloom that blankets the city at times."
I learned a lot of good words in this books, like that there is a name for the prized crusty end of a baguette.  It is called le quignon.  This is a valuable introduction to life in Paris and equally fun after you have been there.  I borrowed this book from a friend.

 

 

Summer not so bad

Thank God the weather has improved!  Just plain hot weather without the humidity and the over 90 temps.  July was mostly awful.

 

Restaurant review:  The red store in Cape May Point, New Jersey.  It's kind of an IN thing...if you can FIND the red store at all.  It is inside and on the back porch of....a red building labeled General Store in a tiny little town with no restaurants or hotels.  The food is quite good.  Nothing as normal as salmon in this place.  Entrees include octopus and skate plus 8 other ingredients apiece, perhaps two that you have never even heard of.  You are kind of sucked in thinking that the prices are reasonable....$32 for two courses or $42 for three. Then things just happen, like desserts and coffees which are not even listed.  Other nice things happen like getting things you didn't even order since you know the manager.  But upon reflection,  I think he kisses EVERYONE and gives everyone the extra stuff.  That is probably the secret to his success.  So the food is fabulously delicious and the service is extraordinary and the porch in the sunset is perfect.  And the breads are yummy as is the butter with salt sprinkled on it and the oil mixture.  That is why I got dangerously full before my courses even started.  I saved half of my second course which was crab with gnocchi and then I walked out forgetting it.  It was like a meal in Paris because it took over two hours and we missed our play and didn't even have time to see the ocean.


Getting too many books at home.  Haven't FINISHED one in a while.  Just renewed a couple and got a new one on Interlibrary loan today. Need to spend more time at home READING.

A woman named Chastity

There are some quite astonishing things in our local paper.  Like this woman named Chastity Brackney who was indicted on charges of first-degree aggravated sexual assualt, aggravated criminal sexual assault and endangering the welfare of a child.  Now that I read it again, perhaps her name is CHASITY, not Chastity. Another article was about a woman arrested for wearing a very short skirt and no underwear.

It feels like a Saturday, but it isn't.  Invited out to breakfast by one friend and to lunch by another.  Anyway, what does Saturday feel like when you are retired?  I woke up with NO PLANS and that kind of makes me anxious.

Sign downtown..."Laundry mat coming soon". 

What are those spectacular flowers blooming on my neighbor's plants?  I think it is hibiscus.  They are red and quite wonderful...

Missing my playlist

Only have 29 songs saved on YouTube.  Missing my 127 songs that I can no longer access on Playlist.com.  Changes, changes....guess you can't ask for too much when stuff is FREE.  I'm too frugal to get itunes.  Had to put on the headphones to block out sound of woman typing VERY FAST.  I looked over to see what school work or other important thing she was accomplishing and it  is FACEBOOK.  What the hell can she be SAYING?!?!?  I am doing useful things such as updating my medications list so I can present it when I go to the doctor on Thursday. 

Doing unnecessary shopping errands today.  Like SPENDING money to SAVE money.  I know it doesn't make any sense, but at least I am trying to get stuff I NEED and stuff that is on SALE.

Did accomplish my daily exercise goal at least....got through aqua aerobics just as it started to rain.  Then stopped by a farmer's market and had my first PEACH.  YUM!  Stopped in to the South Vineland post office and found a wonderful variety of stamps and a man who didn't seem to mind showing them to me.  I had almost given up on brick and mortar post offices to shop for stamps.

It's not the heat

...it's the humidity.  Dreadful summer!  Spend my time trying to avoid the weather and weather-related events.  Casinos are nice....like being in an airconditioned CITY.  I am attracted and repulsed by the gambling culture.  All of these families walking around.  Went to the Revel casino in Atlantic City to check it out.  To recover from bankruptcy they are offering your money back on your slot losses.  But, of course, there is a catch, as usual.  You have to LOSE over $100 by July 31st and they will give you back your losses, but only $5 a week and you have to go back once a week for 20 weeks.  This will never happen with me.  I live an hour away and there are many casinos and I am not really a gambler.  So here are my likes and dislikes of the Revel beach casino and hotel.

Likes: 
- The people were nice (employees).
- They had 21 in Spanish
- penny machines mixed in with all of the others

Dislikes:
- All grey and uninviting outside (maybe it looks better in the sun?)
- the decor - strange modern
- The parking machines were really confusing
- Penny machines where you had to bet 30, 60, 90, 148 pennies (what is the point of a penny machine?)
- parking garage poorly marked and exiting was a mess

The death of a tree

This is my license plate because I am opposed to the murder of trees.  This tree was just standing there, minding its own business, and a branch fell down.  So, the owner of the tree decided to KILL the entire tree to avoid any future problems of this nature.  This tree is going to leave a big gap in my view. It offers a lot of protection from the neighbors. Sad.. I have just been glad that not-my-tree fell on not-my-car.  I just drove off like I didn't have a care in the world.

My playlist.com seems to have finally bit the dust.  Can't log in and probably have lost my list of over one hundred songs. I received an email saying that they got in trouble and had to change the format.  Sigh....I liked it because it WASN'T a radio format.  Now have switched to YouTube, though the pictures aren't that important to me.

Yesterday I went to a class on Picasa, which some of the students insisted on calling Picasso. The other annoying thing about the other students was the woman who kept saying, "Gotcha!"  Doesn't she know that I HATE that word?!  I liked the button that said Publish to blogger. Picasa is only one of many photo management programs. It is related to Google.   But since it now is the one which caught my attention, I plan to try it out.  If I am seriously going to get back into photography, I should be able to practice with my LG rumor phone, which is all I have at the moment.

 

They ol' school

I have been rather fascinated by "Civilian witness #8", later revealed to be Rachel Jeantel, the friend of Trayvon Martin.  I was mesmerized by her bad grammer and then heard an interesting quote from her about the jury - "They ol'.  That's ol' school people.  We in a new school, our generation, my generation..."  I found her rather charming in the interview on late night TV which I watched on the Internet.  I do think her grammer and her inability to express herself did affect the jury in a negative way.  Maybe this is how we can convince people to stay in school...in case they have to testify in court, they need to present well.

Trying to avoid the heat, have spent time at the health club, at the hairdressers and in a library.  The beauty salon is a very pleasant way to spend two hours, looking at the beautiful people, that is, the people who WORK there.  It is an expensive pleasure in which I indulge every couple of months. 

I am secretly eating kettle corn popcorn hoping to not get caught and reprimanded by the librarians.  I won it as a door prize for signing up as a friend of the Cumberland County Library.  Today am planning to have breakfast, lunch and dinner at McDonalds.  I am not proud of it, but it is easy and cheap.  Have a coupon for a free large fries which I plan on cashing in later on tonight.

I sat on an ant and he BIT me

I know that I had ants in the kitchen...big ones.  Then I saw a bunch of tiny ones in a box of wrapped candy.  Apparently there was a medium sized ant on the toilet seat when I sat down.  I discovered him when he bit me.  GROSS!  Time to do something about the damned things.


Book review:  Fifty shades darker by E.L. James.  I was reluctant to read this book as I was worried it would be even more extreme than the first one in the series.  Then a friend told me how much she was enjoying the audiobooks.  So I got this through Overdrive on my Nook.  I liked it even more than the first one.  It is hard to look away.  OK, the guy has faults....he is controlling, bossy, messed up and jealous.  But, on the other hand, he is gorgeous, rich, attentive, generous,  creative and wants her. Each love scene is different from all of the others.  It is true that she can't find time for her friends.  She does continue to want to "work" although she seems to spend most of her time at work emailing Christian.  Somehow the author keeps you routing for their love instead of thinking, "Watch out, lady!"  He sort of backs off from the kinky stuff in this book but the question remains whether he will continue to be satisfied.

I am in "Onederland" today.  That is when you get below 200 pounds.  So what did I do to celebrate?
Went to Terrigno's bakery and got treats for the gang down at the Cumberland County Historical Society.  Of course, I do that EVERY Wednesday, even though I am not supposed to be eating sweets.  Feeling generally sluggish and lazy and in pain.  Stopped taking my anti-inflammation drug and it is 95 degrees.  Exercise does not seem to be making me feel better.