Short term memory problems

Seems like my memory has been extra bad since my recent bout of food poisoning. I ask people if I just asked them something. So far, no one has mentioned it except for myself.

I would like to figure out a better way to record books that I have read. I put them here but no one reads this and I can't really SEARCH it so what is the use?

The happiness advantage (book): the seven principles of positive psychology that fuel success and performance at work, by Shawn Achor. Not sure why I keep reading books about the workplace even though I am retired. It sort of went in one eye and out the other (short term memory problems as I mentioned before).

The night of the gun (book) : a reporter investigates the darkest story of his life, his own, by David Carr. I wanted to read this because he recently dropped dead too young at work at the New York Times and I wasn't really familiar with his work. He looks into his history with addiction by interviewing many people in his life ad nauseum.

Things you think about in the shower

I don't have time to think of ANYTHING in the shower, other than getting myself clean and the rituals that accompany this goal. Plus, I am a very fast showerer. When I was in Paris, you had to buy a JETON to put in the shower. It was only good for 5 minutes. I was quite proud of the fact that I came in UNDER 5 minutes.
Where I think of a lot of things is during Senior stretch class. We sit in front of the DVD and I am so accustomed to the routine that my mind can wander all over the place.

Lately, I have been obsessed with LISTS, made and unmade. Here are some lists and charts that I would like to make:
1. a chart where I can keep track of the cleaning of coats and scarves. Each year, I say I am going to clean them ALL at the end of each season, but then I don't.
2. a chart listing physical symptoms and their relationship to foods eaten and drugs taken. Trying to self-diagnose.
3. I can't think of them NOW

Disocvered a new website called Bookbub. Actually someone at Yoga class told me about it. You learn of cheap or free ebooks. I already downloaded one from Barnes and Noble for my Nook!

Martin Luther King day

Trying to figure out whether trash is being collected on a regular schedule today. Could not determine this from the website of the city. I was going to volunteer for the code blue program as my volunteer activity for the day, but they are not having it (though I think it is going to just about cold enough). Perhaps I will pick up some trash? And I did help the lady next to me on the computer. I showed her how to make her viewable screen bigger. We are encouraged to have a "day of service" on MLK's b-day. Could go to see Selma, but saving it for a friend who is out of town this week.

Don't even think about it (audiobook), Sarah Mlynowski. An interesting premise. A home room gets the flu shot and it causes them to be able to hear thoughts. This causes a variety of happenings, some good and some awful. Then, their eyes start turning purple. Quite a few relationships come and go due to this ability. Then they are offered an antidote and have to decide if they want it. This is a young adult title that I borrowed from the Vineland Public Library.

Have to go to lunch now, which is good, cause hunger is making me shaky!

A dreary dismal day missing one tooth

My only consolation is pain pills, some really good ones. Plus I got my nails done. New color is by OPI - called "Color to diner for". It is a sparkly red.

Full planets, empty plates : the new geopolitics of food scarcity (book), by Lester R. Brown. Given to me by his brother-in-law, it is a nice thin book, detailing many of his thoughts which I have heard before. How the balance of the planet is off, how eating up the food chain contributes to food scarcity, how the increasing population numbers put a strain on our food resources, how political unrest contributes to food insecurity, how water shortages make it difficult to grow crops in the places where the food is needed. Food is the new oil, land is the new gold. One of our best environmental theorists comes from our area.

OK, so it is ONLY December 1st. But I have missed Black Friday, Small business Saturday, Cyber Monday AND Giving Tuesday. The fact of the matter is, I am totally uninspired as far as Christmas gifts go. On my list of things to do today was to make my Christmas list, both what I want, and all the names of all the people I should/want to get gifts for. Shopping isn't much fun for me. Deciding isn't much fun for me.

The high cost of maintaining your 5 senses

Have just come from the dentist after having learned the hard cruel repercussions from having bitten down on an unpopped popcorn kernel last week - The "best" option involves 4 steps, two doctors, 10 months and $4500. (They tell you the other options but make them sound really unappealing). It made me think about the high cost of our senses. I will rank them in order of cost (just guessing here)
1. Taste - if it involves the TEETH it gets really expensive...cavities, root canals and now IMPLANTS
2. Sight - glasses and cataract surgery and laser surgery can get pricy
3. Hearing - an expensive, tiny, problematic object is a bitch to sic on the elderly person
4. Smell - those that lose their sense of smell just get by without it
5. Touch - pretty much the last thing to go

Am headphone-less and all the other people in this library are really getting on my nerves. All of my cheap headphones I acquired on airplanes have now bitten the dust. I have to listen to:
- talking
- phones ringing
- people quietly cursing to themselves
- the clicking as a woman photographs pages on the Internet
- one guy who is constantly turning the dial on the mouse to go down the page
- sighs and groans from people not doing well in their online games

Having a hot flash. It will pass. The weather is great outside and I am sort of warmly dressed.

Nausea?

Nausea can be a symptom of FEMALE heart attack or EBOLA. Luckily, I rarely experience this symptom.

All the light we cannot see (audio book), by Anthony Doerr. Cried near the end, not sure why. Very moving the way the author brings together the stories of the young German soldier and the blind girl from Paris and St. Malo. Quite long and involved, detailing the flight of a young girl with her father from Paris at the start of the war. Always surprising to learn the trail of events in various countries during the war. A mystery of a missing diamond and its three copies. Almost wanted it to be over before it was over, but after that was when I cried.

Went to Philadelphia yesterday. Lured by a lecture called "Paris awakens". Was dismayed when I realized that I have been a member of the Philadelphia Museum of art for 10 months without going once. Now I am in the mood. There is a lot to see...sculpture garden, trolleys to the Perelman Center and the Rodin museum and who knows where else. If I go once a week for the next two months, maybe I will get my money's worth? I liked the feeling of being a member. Spending money to save money on parking, food and gifts. My favorite discovery was Charles Demuth...gentle watercolors. Part of a show of Steiglitz and his associates. That section included works by Steiglitz, O'Keefe, Demuth and Dove.

What did we do before the Internet?

I should know that. I am a librarian. It has been sad to see the inexorable neglect of our reference collections of books. And, yes, I am guilty myself. When was the last time I actually looked at some of my favorite tomes, such as The statesman's yearbook or The encyclopedia of associations?

So, today, here is some of what I have been looking up:
- What is the name of the symbol that Prince, the musician, used as his name? I drew how I thought it looked and thought maybe it was called Ankara. Well, no, Ankara is a city in Turkey. Prince's symbol is unpronounceable but sometimes known as the LOVE symbol. It is a combination of the male symbol, the female symbol and the symbol for alchemy.
- How to grow poppies like I saw in Italy and are all poppies opium poppies?
- Why do I have a metallic taste in my mouth? There could be many reasons, but if the reason is unknown, it is called IDIOPATHIC DYSGEUSIA.

Finished an audio book, Seeds of hope : wisdom and wonder from the world of plants, by Jane Goodall (from the Millville Public Library - AUBK 580 Goo). Yes, that is the chimpanzee woman. She has many more interests. Talks about our relationships with trees and trees relationships with each other. Also clear cutting, rain forests, herbal remedies, how people ruin everything for greed, and GMO's, to just name a few of the topics covered. She travels most of the year giving talks. I found it interesting but hard to get through. Not exactly scintillating. And she actually reads all of the credits and thanks at the end. That was truly boring, but I stuck with it. I liked best the trees parts.

Advice from the cleaning lady

We were discussing how hard it is to walk up and down the steps and she mentioned a home remedy that has helped some friends of hers. Take one quarter teaspoon of borax in a glass of water and it makes your joint pain go away. I looked at her a bit quizzically and thought to myself, "Isn't that what I have at home to kill ants?" So, I looked it up on the Internet and yes, borax has MANY uses, just like coconut oil and apple cider vinegar.

Finished an interesting book on the Nook, Catherine the Great, by Robert K. Massie. She was quite a gal, with many lovers and children all fathered by different lovers and not by her husband. Got it from the Overdrive system, through the Vineland Public Library.

Was going to address "the law of unintended consequences" but now have forgotten the issue!

Allergies!

Must get to the store and buy some allergy meds! I used to take THREE medications all year round. But, when I retired, I had to confront the fact that all three of these meds were really expensive. Do I really need them? Have been getting along pretty well with none of them until right now, which is the historical, traditional time for hay fever.

The cat who dropped a bombshell (audiobook), by Lilian Jackson Braun. This was a repeat for me, a necessary break from the last book I read which was about the horrors of WWII. The cat who books are my relaxation, cozy mysteries about a humble billionaire who dates the local librarian (by now she owns a bookshop). His two Siamese cats provide clues to local deaths and mysteries. The series has long been finished so my only option is redoing them. This is the 28th book and features a visit from a young man (possible heir) and his fiancée, and the celebration of the 150th anniversary of the town. Local eccentrics and events entertain us throughout.

Time is running out to do customary summer things....getting peaches from Sunny Slope, going kayaking, swimming at a friend's house, using his paddle boat, riding a bike, buying fruits and vegetables from local stands. This is what I entertain myself with while others are going on vacation.

My schizophrenic day

Perhaps that is not the name for it, but I have gone from serene to angry to pissed off to happy again. Started out at Cape May Point listening to the ocean, painting in the sun, smelling the flowers, enjoying the peace and quiet. Then I drove to my town and up to get an emergency manicure for a party tonight. Top nails is so unpleasant I had to leave. No one acknowledges you and when I spoke to a woman she looked like I had done something HIGHLY inappropriate. I was hating it so much I couldn't even stay. Accidentally walked out with one of their nail polishes. That's what they get. Then working up a sweat at home trying to get all of the things done for party tonight and spending several days away from home. I am all discombobulated. Laundry, phone messages, trash, sheet of sister appreciation, stuff to wear, etc. Left with only a few minutes to get an audio book for my long drive and check the email at the library. Lo and behold...in addition to air conditioning, they had new big screen computers and the kind of mice that I like, the small, dainty ones. I am in seventh heaven! And they got FASTER too.

Am in a real Diane Keaton phase. Finished the audio book of Let's just say it wasn't pretty, humorous essays about her life and loves and kids and beauty and aging. She has 48 pictures of men "imprisoned" on her wall and is a serial house renovator. She has lived in 10 houses in 15 years. I can't imagine that!
Really enjoyed this audio book and laughed out loud in several spots.

Now someone is hacking and coughing next to me. OK, I forgot about the other irritating thing after the nail salon debacle. Came home and ALL THREE of the annoying dogs in my neighborhood were barking at once. I really do resent dogs that bark at me when I am just minding my own business. That was the best thing about Cape May Point, no friggin' barking dogs.

Which is worse, high blood pressure or slow resting heart rate?

So, I stopped taking my blood pressure pill as it was making my heart rate too slow. Now my blood pressure is too high. Darn, I thought maybe I was overcoming HBP with my modicum of weight loss and my pathetic, half-hearted efforts to exercise. Jeez...when you get to be 66 you just think about all of the things that can go wrong. And you see them happening to many of the people around you, even the ones YOUNGER than 66.

Taking an art class. I guess I like it. It is nice to get involved in something for three hours and I have noticed that I don't think about EATING during this time. I do, however, have a lot of competition anxiety. I don't think I am very good at it and have already mentally moved on to the next project. That is one reason I don't want to go out and spend a lot of money on fancy art supplies. Yes, my materials are possibly limiting what I am able to accomplish. Today I painted a sunset that I took a picture of down at Bivalve the other night. Now, I need to think of a project for NEXT week. Every week that I have been there the day has been sunny and gorgeous. And today a woman who fell down with a stroke a couple of weeks ago was BACK and none the worse for the wear. The nurse who had guided the rescue crew went home and painted her a picture and presented it to her in a frame today. After the class, I went out in back of the barn and relaxed by the pond. Was taking my "Vitamin D bath" and waiting for my watercolor to dry. Enjoyed greatly the sounds....wind chimes in the trees, waterfall fountain in the pond, wind blowing through the bamboo trees. Add to that the heavenly odors and another artist painting a fabulous pink flowered tree. It was rather heavenly!

On my way home soon. It is a struggle to get to spend time at home so I can read and organize (ha ha) and look out the windows at the sunny day. I was supposed to have a French club meeting tonight but one and then another dropped out so we ended up rescheduling it. I am just as glad as I had too many activities today. Started off with arthritis class at 8 AM, then art class, then a substantial lunch at the Olympia Greek restaurant, then chiropractor and massage, and now computer time at the Millville Public Library. It is a difficult life (not). I guess I should feel guilty about all of my self-indulgence, but, hey, don't I deserve it?

I shouldn't have hugged all of those senior citizens yesterday

Feeling a cold coming on. I HATE sick people and do not wish to become one. In fact, I PRIDE myself on my ability to not get sick. So the somewhat sore throat and the sort of sniffling is bothering me. I last had a bit of a cold around Christmas. I should have kept my distance from all of those elderly ladies who have retired along with me. What was I thinking?!?!?

At least the sun is shining. Sprung a new leak in my ceiling and am hoping it only happens when it is pouring? Usually hoping does no good with roof leaks and they rarely get better.

Don't know if I am going to be able to SING tonight. Choir practice at 7:30 PM. Taking wipes. I probably CAUGHT a cold from those stupid chimes. I seem to be the only one who cares about cleaning them off.

Sitting with the great unwashed

Sorry to sound so classist, but the person who just sat down next to me has an aura of old smoke and BO extending for several feet.

Is it ever going to warm up? Promises of 52 degrees seem hard pressed. I just can't seem to warm up. Got up at 4 AM and it was dark and cold. So, I got back in bed after reading for an hour, but just couldn't seem to warm up. Felt like I must be getting the flu....but I pride myself on my ability to not get sick. I am not sick but AM one of the worried well.

Not doing a whole lot today. Breakfasted with two friends I hadn't seen in awhile. Volunteered at the art gallery and had a good time talking with interesting workmen. Went to the car mechanic and arranged to spend lots of money there next week. Am glad I came to the library, though. It is nice and peaceful today. AND I found a new Janet Evanovich audiobook. What could be better? Oh, I DID accomplish a long undone project...buying windshield wiper fluid and putting it in the car all by myself.

When you are a retired disciplinarian

A retired police officer shot a guy in the movie theater who wouldn't stop texting when asked to. Yikes! I know the feeling. When you are a retired disciplinarian (like a librarian or a police officer) it is hard to stop telling people what to do in public spaces. I have to use the computer in libraries and I see quite a bit of misbehavior. The movies is another annoying place to be. But I don't think I would go so far as to SHOOT someone, mainly cause I don't have a gun. I would be more likely to get SHOT.

It was a real dismal rainy day today. Had NOTHING on the calendar so I read for an hour and then got back in bed to finish a book. I borrowed this book from the Gloucester City Library on the recommendation of someone. I found it quite irritating. Wings of glass, by Gina Holmes, is the story of a woman coming to the realization that her husband is an abusive, alcoholic jackass. OK, he is cute, but I got really tired of her rationalizations about his behavior. The good part of the book is her friendship with two women from church and work, who try to help her. One is from the Sudan. With these women, she learns to laugh and question. Having never been in an abusive relationship, I get real impatient that the woman can't just get up and go.

Had a good time perusing the recipes in Joel Fuhrman's book, Eat to live cookbook. But, can I actually EAT this way? I am a fast food junkie, masquarading as a vegetarian. First of all, I would need to get a blender or a juicer to even accomplish any of these recipes. The subtitle is "200 delicious nutrient-rich recipes for fast and sustained weight loss, reversing disease, and lifelong health". Come to think of it, I DO need to reverse a few diseases.

Neighbors, quiet for some time, blew it yesterday

They were getting on my nerves all day. Kids outside making kid noises, being boisterous. People in back yard setting up an outdoor cooking stove. Had a stupid looking small black dog on a leash. Uh-oh, I thought to myself. So I went out for a Downton Abbey viewing party and heard shrieking, laughing, who knows what. Came back to find out there was a bottle fight with police cars, ambulances and street blockages. Sigh.... See what happens when friends get out of hand?
Neighbor said she was taken out "on a chair" with her head lolling back. THAT sounds pretty weird!

Just finished a good book about health, Dr. Melissa Palmer's guide to hepatitis & liver disease. I checked online to see if it has been redone since 2004 and, unfortunately, no. Must return it to the Vineland Public Library today. It gave me a lot of good info about Hepatitis C and various ways to help the liver. I need to find a liver specialist but I don't think there are any around here. I am getting batted around between the family physician and the Internal medicine guy and I think I need better advice.

My eyes are really going. Can't see the choices on those game shows on TV. Even this screen is sort of grayish and not all that clear. Was having problems last summer and said I am going to update my prescriptions for the glasses before I get REALLY worried. Well, now, I am getting really worried.

BO in the library

And other reasons why most sane people have the Internet in their homes. Also they don't have to come out when the temperature is 28 degrees.

I am KIND OF in my own little world with the earbuds on. The CD, Blurred lines, by Robin Thicke, is starting to grow on me and now am enjoying my Youtube playlist (Queen singing Bohemian Raphsody right now).

Looking up my diseases on the Internet and worrying about doing or not doing anything about them. I will not be specific but suffice it to say, there are reasons why I have become celibate...too many conditions about that people do not know that they even have!

I dread picking up the phone these days

Usually it is a machine, or a salesman, or a butt-dial, or a dead space. I don't really want to exert myself to get it, but then, when I call people, they never answer either. Life is one big game of phone tag.

Spent a goodly number of hours in my own home this afternoon. A rare event, for moi. Enjoyed it, for the most part. I puttered, I read, I listened to NPR, I almost took a nap. Had to leave in the middle to do a couple of errands. Luckily, the neighborhood was pretty quiet. Only the sounds of home maintenance projects were in the air. Well, there were a few echos of distant yapping dogs, but I chose to ignore. I will be taking a walk soon to find out where these dogs live so that I can sic the dog catcher on them.

Thinking about my doctor visit yesterday and pondering whether I should write some online reviews. I have dermatologists figured out....they insist upon chopping you up, then they give you more than one prescription which may hurt more than it helps. I liked the way I got to see the actual doctor and it was nice that she had two people in the room with her, but when I look at the report it is totally confusing and contradictory. I give up on thoughts of obtaining clarification from the snotty office staff. The doctor said to come back in two weeks, but the office staff said she has no availability for two months! This is just plain aggravating! Then she has me applying two different creams, vaseline, AND an $85 saran-wrap kind of thing. How, I would like to ask her, is all of this supposed to work together? Oh, what the heck. I may as well call the dreadful office staff and give them an earful.

Government by tantrum

Yes, that is what we have in the United States of America. The Republicans all strike me as hard-edged, white, too thin, uptight, tight-lipped, tight-assed whiners. Get over it, please, and let's just TRY the Affordable health act. I refuse to call it OBAMACARE any more. I think that just encourages them and discourages the American public. What is so bad about socialized medicine, after all? Medicare is the greatest thing that ever happened to me. At least one thing in life just occurs and it is a good thing. No decisions needed, not much paperwork involved and it saves you money.

Sitting on the porch of the New Dodge's market in Elmer. It was on my list of places to use the wireless. However, it is on a REALLY busy and noisy intersection of Route 40 and some other street and it is very unpleasant. The weather is great, however, and unseasonably warm. Had a delicious salad with a fabulous salad dressing.

Time to get back to Bridgeton and buy my new and old prescriptions. Ready for a rest. Had a biopsy even though I went into the dermatologist determined to not get cut. This is practically impossible when you visit this (or any) dermatologist as we all know. I vow to try harder to not scratch. I felt the visit was worth it and perhaps there is HOPE for the future. Hard to be positive when you have had a skin disorder for 16 months! (Can't believe how time flies). She wanted to know if I was anxious (just about the neighbors) or depressed, (no, but I AM highly medicated). Scratching is related to OCD (OK< I admit it, I do have that).

You ain't prejudiced, is you?

This question was followed by a request for money, making me doubt the veracity of my NOT being prejudiced. The other thing that happened as I was hanging around in downtown Bridgeton, was observing a very Black woman crossing the street and muttering, "Fuckin' white people!" Was I the cause of this muttering? Just made me realize why no one likes to come downtown.

I should be thankful for being ALIVE today, as I took a very nasty tumble last night. You think that you are going to be careful and that nothing bad is going to happen to you and the next thing you know you are one step from the bottom of a flight of stairs, upside down and wedged in. If I hadn't recently lost some weight, I would STILL be there. It was rather a feat to get myself extricated from that situation but I was all alone and it was dark. What other choice did I have? AM starting to feel a bit better, but don't know WHAT or WHO to thank....my doctor? the ice? the Naproxen? the pain pill? my massage therapist? my chiropractor? All I can say is THANK GOD. I do not need a broken hip. This is why I like to get home before dark and STAY THERE. I took a step, it was dark, I misjudged the step and suddenly was flying through the air.

Before this occurred, I drove over to the local high school stadium to take a walk/jog. All along both sides of the street there were signs posted "No parking this side". This is what is wrong with America. NO ONE is allowed to park in a convenient location!

"Something smells like it is burning.....

Oh, it's sawdust". My sister's partner has a wood shop and they are serving coffee in the front part. This is the third day of regular hours and they are already thinking of what else to do. I tried to look up business licenses in the code of the City of Bridgeton, but I couldn't get anywhere.

I had a good experience yesterday. Well, first a BAD experience. Unbeknownst to me, my credit card fell out of my pocket and was laying on the street downtown. A kind, honest lady picked it up and called the bank. They called me and I walked downtown to get it from an employee of the WIC office. The buildings were very poorly marked. Crazy numbers and old names of organizations. I guess you have to KNOW about it to find it. A lot of security. Can't get into any buildings without ringing a buzzer. I snuck into a preschool along with a lady and her tiny daughter. They rang the buzzer and when questioned, she said (in Spanish), "I'm here to pick up my baby". Had to ask various people and be personally led by a person I remembered from my old job. Along the way to the very-well-hidden WIC office, I discovered a fruit and vegetable market. I think it is for poor people but I am going to go. It is sort of hidden halfway down a parking lot and is there Tuesdays - Fridays (not sure of the hours). All this within a few blocks of my house!

Not feeling really great. Allergies for one thing. A variety of rashes, digestive difficulties and general tiredness round out the picture. Seems like I am slowing down every day. Weather went from HOT to COLD. I guess it is just the usual shock to the system that another season is coming upon us. I thought I would be so happy when the heat ended. A friend was very jealous when I told her I couldn't remember the last time I set the alarm.