Unwholesome lyrics

Trying to delete really wicked songs off of my Youtube list. It is hard to delete Eminem and Elton John singing Stan at the Grammy's, but the lyrics are really bad. I am KEEPING, however, Janie got a gun, by Aerosmith.

The memory palace (audiobook) : a memoir, by Mira Bartok. Had to stop listening to this. Essentially, I am not interested in hearing about the schizophrenic mom who had lots of great ideas, but ended up homeless and crazy. Her daughters come around for her dying days. The narrator sounds kind of drugged, adding to the general gloom. (Bridgeton Public Library - AUDB BIO BARTOK)

Feeling somewhat self-righteous, as I cleaned part of the bathroom today. Also, I cooked a turkey burger from the Amish market and had it with some summer slaw I bought at the Acme. Nice to have some REAL food, for a change.

And the winter drags on...

In the midst of a three day weather event. Lots of rain yesterday but it didn't keep me from doing stuff. What, do I want to stay home and listen to the rain dripping down from my ceiling?! Today kind of warmish, foggy and drizzly. Scary snow predictions for tomorrow. I AM really getting tired of things being cancelled left and right. It's MARCH, for God's sake. Staffing the Code Blue center tonight from midnight to 3 AM and I know THAT won't be cancelled.

Out of control in the eating department. Bought some ice cream last night but it was really distasteful. Note to self : I do not like any ice cream with cookie dough in it. Ben and Jerry's just gets overdone in the loaded-with-crap area.

Invited to go to dinner tonight. I had every minute planned and those minutes did not include driving to another town, but I am trying to be more flexible. I messed up my dinner invitation the other night by arriving late and not paying attention to the cook. He got into a mood and rightly so.

I can mess up any space

My computer space at the library looks like a whirlwind hit it....clipboard, container of wipes, plastic folders bulging with papers, plastic bags containing all of my little essentials, a ring of keys, my cell phone, thing that I keep my headphones in, thick folder of books I want to look up, pile of "New business", big black calendar where I keep a two-page-per-day manual calendar. plastic folder of things-to-be-filed in current file folders that I keep in the car, a large blue purse, a larger brown leather briefcase, ripped papers to go in the trash can. Some of my friends refer to the library as "my office".

Going to a lecture about George Agnew Chamberlain downstairs at 7 PM. Enjoy living in my neighborhood for HISTORY reasons....three of Bridgeton famous historical characters lived or visited at my house or across the street....Mother Bloor, Sylvia Beach, and George Agnew Chamberlain. Unfortunately, there is not much left of the good old days. I guess they weren't so good because Mother Bloor and Sylvia Beach couldn't wait to get away!

I have a sudden need to replace my fence. The only thing uglier than my fences are the neighbors on either side. I have a dumpster on each side. I know, I know, I should be throwing crap in their dumpsters. I want to put in a HIGHER fence so I don't have to look at the neighbors. But who knows what regulations or permits are needed? That is why I fix nothing!

LOL, all by myself

Got up at my usual time, 9 AM. Made breakfast and was not happy with the $2.97 coffee I bought yesterday at the C-town.
Like most every day, I sat in front of the TV to eat, even though I know that is a big NO-NO. Jon Stewart making fun of John Boehner and other Republicans and Tea party people during the President's speech was HILARIOUS and Oh-so-right-on!
Then I read two pages of a David Sedaris article in The New Yorker. My day was off to a good start!

Returning this book to the library today. It was a bit ridiculous. The tapping solution for weight loss and body confidence (book), by Jessica Ortner. There were some helpful suggestions in there but the idea of tapping various parts of your head and neck while you recite affirmations is just too dumb.

Today is my "self-indulgent" day. On Thursday, I come to Vineland and get a manicure and a massage and use the best library in Cumberland County. Heard a good story the other day. My doctor said that her father wanted her mother to move to the Friends Village in Woodstown. Her mother wouldn't go because the libraries over there are limited.

Yearning to take a picture

Wish I had taken a picture yesterday of the SEA of schoolchildren marching in front of my house. They all wear the same uniform so it was quite a sea of maroon and tan. Except for an aide (?) or a mother who was wearing a really inappropriate outfit of big gold hoop earrings and a bare midriff (and not a very attractive midriff, at that). It was ALL of the kids (or all of the SMART or well-behaved kids) from all of the schools in my town. It was a very hot day and they were happy when they got to my house because I have a big tree and there was SHADE.

Dreading a house revaluation that is coming to my town. Do they expect to get water from a stone? And how are they going to get into all of these apartment buildings with no one in charge. When I was working, I had a better excuse to avoid them, but now they might even catch me. The question is, do I let them in? Perhaps if they see the state of my house, the assessed value could go DOWN? I have decided that this is what I want. There is no way we can sell our homes for a profit anyway. Of course, they could just send in my name to the TV show, Hoarders.

The St. Zita society (book), by Ruth Rendell: I listened to the audio book. This is a very lightweight mystery. Sort of an Upstairs/downstairs thing but with too many characters. Kind of like who lives at one address but it is the neighbors and their servants this time. Not much of a mystery as the reader is privy to all of the goings on. It is just the other people who don't know what is going on. I enjoyed the Britishisms.

The goldfinch

Remembered a little bird I saw in a museum so I tried to find it online. I believe it IS what gave the idea for the book The Goldfinch. It is in the Frick Gallery in New York City. I started the book and only got 1/3 of the way through it before it became overdue. Then started all over again with the 26 CD audiobook. It is quite compelling!

Finished Then again, by Diane Keaton. I love reading autobiographies and finding out who knew whom and such like that. I am eager to read her new book as I enjoyed this one on my Nook. She never married (I like THOSE role models) and adopted two children. She also went through a lot with the decline of her mother.

Someone has been in my yard and it gives me the creeps. Came home and found one of the wooden pieces broken off on my gate. Then we found a SWEATER and a CELL PHONE under the steps. Just what I need, a careless, vandalizing trespasser. I have enough dislike of my neighbors without them invading my space. Called the policeman and he was very polite and took the cell phone although he thought it was broken and useless.

Feeling parsimonious

This is a word I learned in the audio book I just finished. When I looked it up in a dictionary which just happened to be in my path, I saw that it means excessively frugal. Hmmm, that could be me. Yes, I just lost $40 at the casino (but I didn't feel good about it)! And am spending $175 to take an art class. But on a daily basis, I am really quite parsimonious. It is all part of my getting-ready-to-retire strategy. The plan was to keep the daily expenditures down by only spending over $20 at one place. Of course, this requires another LIST and a great deal of just-say-no. I HAVE been accused by at least one friend of being CHEAP.

Audiobook review: Please ignore Vera Dietz, by A. S. King. Found in Young adult section at the Vineland Public Library (AUD CD YA FIC King. A.) All the teenage angst got annoying and there was too much "Are you OK?" and "What are YOU doing here?". Endless bullying gets really tiresome. Also the father/daughter repartee. So, I was sort of glad when it was over. A young boy and his neighbor are good friends. Then things and people intervene and he goes off with the cool/dumb/bullying crowd. Unhappiness ensues. Sometimes with young adults, you just want to shake them and say, "STOP IT!" The jerks are not quite innocent but only the reader seems to know it. I did enjoy the words Vera was studying for her vocabulary quizzes, like parsimonious.

Finally went up into my scary and depressing attic and found the origin of the leak. There were already buckets there (!) so, obviously I had already had a leak on a prior occasion. Guess I need to leave a note on the wall with the relevant info for future reference. The ominous sky threatens another rainstorm which only fills me with dread. It means that I have to go up in the attic on a regular basis, dump the buckets into a traveling bucket and take it down two floors to dump it outside. If it rains too hard or I wait too long, the overflow will drip down through my hall ceiling. SIGH...it is so hard being me. On the plus side, I have already called a roof guy and he is planning to do something about it as soon as it dries out.

A cold and dreary day

It is only cold INSIDE...weather outside is rather temperate. But raining. I can't stand this kind of weather. Plus my office at home has sprung a leak. It has leaked twice and this time was much worse than last time. If I don't put something under it it will wreck my answering machine. So far, just leaked on some scrap paper. Who do I call? The guy who replaced much of my roof and now I am getting the sneaking suspicion that that was not the problem. The Gutter guys? My brother-in-law who is getting ready to go off sailing and has no time?

I totally ignored Halloween yesterday in my curmudgeonly way. Got home at 5 PM and went into hiding since I had no candy. I had no candy because no one ever finds my door and I know what would happen to that candy.

Alternating between depressed and hopeful on the diet front. I know I feel better in so many ways but sometimes wonder if it is worth all of the nay saying. That being said, I still had about an inch of mayonnaise on my sandwich at lunch time, even though I have vowed to go back to 300 calorie meals and 100 calorie snacks. I happen to be addicted to mayonnaise. Took a brave leap the other day. I purchased BURUMAN's mayo at Aldi's. Container designed to look like Hellmans and name scarily similar. Close but no cigar. Have not noticed anything objectionable about the taste and the price was right.

Is there a mouse in the house?

I think that would be a good title for a children's book. I don't want to admit it, but I think that there is a mouse in my house. Weird when you live alone. First the bat and now the mouse. So, I have added mouse trap to my list for shopping. I used to set the mouse traps for my mother. Now I need someone to set them for ME! Here are the clues:
- Once while up in the night I thought I saw something run and hide near the refrigerator.
- My bag of crunchies near the fridge got a hole in it
- I found ONE fingerless glove and the side of it was totally unraveled

Finished two books. The round house by Louis Erdrich was full of Native American lore. Nicely evoked milieu of unpleasant events on the reservation, including rape and murder. I think that is what put me a bit off from reading it, but mostly enjoyed the writing. Also finished a surprisingly interesting nonfiction book about exercising (The first 20 minutes : surprising science reveals how we can exercise better, train smarter, live longer, by Gretchen Reynolds). It convinced me that I need to make more of an effort to exercise DAILY. I am too fond of sitting. It is better to be fat and fit than fat and not fit, said the author. I am hovering around this spot with my weight, balancing out my lack of interest in exercising and my desire to binge and eat all of the wrong foods with activity and restraint. Feel like I am on a teeter totter.

Not very comfortable today. Am using my laptop at the Cohansey Café. Furniture not real commodious and no electrical outlet today. But, the sun is shining and Royals by Lorde is on Youtube. Also belly full of buttered blueberry muffin and coffee. An example of how my eating has slipped....I used to say I could eat something "bad" only once a week and only if I had lost weight. Then it was once a week, no matter what the weight. Soon I was eating unacceptable items once a day and now MORE than once a day. Oh my.

I dread picking up the phone these days

Usually it is a machine, or a salesman, or a butt-dial, or a dead space. I don't really want to exert myself to get it, but then, when I call people, they never answer either. Life is one big game of phone tag.

Spent a goodly number of hours in my own home this afternoon. A rare event, for moi. Enjoyed it, for the most part. I puttered, I read, I listened to NPR, I almost took a nap. Had to leave in the middle to do a couple of errands. Luckily, the neighborhood was pretty quiet. Only the sounds of home maintenance projects were in the air. Well, there were a few echos of distant yapping dogs, but I chose to ignore. I will be taking a walk soon to find out where these dogs live so that I can sic the dog catcher on them.

Thinking about my doctor visit yesterday and pondering whether I should write some online reviews. I have dermatologists figured out....they insist upon chopping you up, then they give you more than one prescription which may hurt more than it helps. I liked the way I got to see the actual doctor and it was nice that she had two people in the room with her, but when I look at the report it is totally confusing and contradictory. I give up on thoughts of obtaining clarification from the snotty office staff. The doctor said to come back in two weeks, but the office staff said she has no availability for two months! This is just plain aggravating! Then she has me applying two different creams, vaseline, AND an $85 saran-wrap kind of thing. How, I would like to ask her, is all of this supposed to work together? Oh, what the heck. I may as well call the dreadful office staff and give them an earful.

Living like hobos in their own home

Strikes too close to home. Finished a book called Coming clean, by Kimberly Rae Miller, about growing up with parents who were hoarders. She wasn't ever able to cure them.

Things I like:
- Driving slowly through the country
- Xanax
- perfectly gorgeous weather
- leftovers

Things I don't like:
- Four-way stops
- library computers getting too old
- big fat mice
= traffic and confusion

A lot of work going on. Seems like everywhere I look there are people sawing, trash containers being delivered, hammering, etc. Even I had some work done. I had people trim some trees. I think I should do it every year instead of every ten years. Can actually sunbathe now.

Got rid of some stuff today

Had some trees trimmed in the back yard. Workmen and change make me nervous so I couldn't relax until they were done. I also took a Xanax to help forget about the stress. The guy came with about 8 helpers (he promised me 3). They were all over the place and making one heck of a racket. I do like the final result and will consider having a trim every year instead of once every ten years. Of course, the LAST time my father owned the property and paid for the trim.

Going to court tomorrow and am totally unprepared. It is really the mediation ordered by the court. I am sure it will be just as big a waste of time as the court was. Embarrassing, too, since I am complaining about the barking pit bull next door and the dog DIED. I called and they said you can't cancel the appointment even if the dog is dead.

Brought my own computer to the library today as the computers here are getting really old and sluggish and most of them have big fat mice. I am just so hard to please.

Do I have a "negative dispositional attitude"

Although I do see a lot of LIKES and DISLIKES in the world, I probably tend more to the DISLIKES.  Want to read the academic article which lies behind the popular press articles (one of which I posted) on this topic. 

Then again, I take pleasure in positive comments, even if made by an older, blacker, flirtacious man in McDonald's....."I keep track of everything around here, especially the young and pretty girls".  I didn't really respond but I think he meant ME!

Really need to do some stuff at home but it is grey and humid and too quiet.  So I came out to McDonald's to get some breakfast and some coffee and to use the Internet.
Summer's over...what is the plan for my life?

Sittin' on the "group W" bench

I went to Municipal court this week.  I forgot to take a Xanax and I really needed it.  Felt like Arlo Guthrie, sittin' on the" group W" bench, with mother stabbers and father rapers and the like (listen to the song/album called Alice's Restaurant if you don't know what I am talking about).  I sat there for a deadly but entertaining and educational three hours listening to all the other cases.  Finally got called in to the prosecutor and felt like she blew me off (actually I should have had a succinct statement ready).  I had a one page document and a chart of all of my neighborhood annoyances, but a 15 word statement would have been more to the point.  She referred my case to "neighborhood disputes" of which I had never heard.  I guess it is some kind of mediation which I learned about reading a really fascinating book called "Neighbor law", put out by Nolo Press. ( I really should have read the one called "Dog law").  I signed a complaint against my neighbor who insists on having a pit bull live on her steps.  I have lost the use of my yard and the peace and quiet of my home due to the barking.

It was horrible being in court, even though I was the filer of a complaint and not the perpetrator of a crime.  They made everyone, complainer and criminal alike, wait in this tiny vestibule with no chairs for a half an hour before letting anyone enter the court. THAT was awkward, but I got the feeling that lots of these people do this very often.   I was out on the porch listening to a woman and a man talk about their domestic violence history, where one person files a complaint and then the other person turns around and countersues.  When the police come around to serve them with papers they just don't open the door.  When they do get into court they generally say that they aren't going to press charges.  What an unpleasant way to spend your afternoons!  It is just a game and a big waste of time.  The woman talked about just getting an ROR.  What's that, I asked.  Release On Recognizance, she said, (but she didn't pronounce it properly).  Some of the people had multiple "crimes" at once....driving offenses, domestic violence, paraphernalia possession.  One guy didn't know (me either) that on the third paraphernalia offense you get a mandatory 90 days in jail.  He was wearing orange at the time.  A really FAT white woman came up and declined to press charges against him.  Then ANOTHER large white women was there with a black guy and as they walked out, having declined to press charges, I noticed a large hickey on her neck.  Some of the people were polite, some had major attitude and some were snickering.    I did learn of some unsavory individuals who live near me. 

Below you will see a photo of a flower blooming at Giverny in July.  I borrowed this pic from a blog I read called Eye prefer Paris (doesn't everyone?)  He said that July was  REALLY hot in France, just like it was here.  I need to take time out of every day to enjoy beauty and calm and elegance.  Thinking about my vacation in France is quite pleasant.  I need to start thinking about the next stage of my life.  Living in Bridgeton is getting pretty taxing, what with the changing neighborhoods.  Too much coming and going around me and people who think the barking of pit bulls is not annoying.

Su perro esta molestandome

I said to a friend, "My worst nightmare is that a barking dog moves in next door to me."  "Surely", she said, "You have worse nightmares than THAT!"  Trying to figure out how to say "Your dog is annoying" in Spanish.  Although I think I have made my displeasure evident in English AND Spanish.  It doesn't seem to have made any difference in the behavior of the neighbors or their dog.  Yesterday, the dog was barking and whining all day INSIDE and late afternoon outside.

Really fun surprise 60th birthday party last night.  My girlfriend was SO surprised, her eyes and her mouth were big Os for about five minutes.  She was totally shocked that her family had come secretly from all over the country.  I had to leave "early" as I had to get up and go to work this morning.  I only work ONE day a month, but when it rolls around, it always seems somewhat inconvenient.
Lots of food (Indian) and I totally avoided the desserts, which were plentiful and gorgeous.

We have had 10.1 inches of rain so far this June and June is not over yet!  That is a record.  Every day we have a few storms, mostly at night, thank goodness.  Having drainage problems near my garage where we park the cars.  Sometimes I have to wade through 4 inches of water to get to my house.
Well, it wasn' t THIS deep, but you get the picture....

Where I live at, you can't trust NOBODY

Overheard, at Wawa.  I don't really WANT to trust anybody in my neighborhood.  Feel sort of bad about my glee thinking that the dog next door may have run away yesterday.  I saw her out the window with NO leash and NO people.  That night I walked around the outside of my house picking up trash since it was trash night and noticed a LOT of trash on the one side of my house.  Never have I had so much trash before those people moved in next door.  Also saw two big piles of dog shit in their yard.  They don't pick up after their dog.  Must remember to add that to the letter I probably won't have the nerve to send to their landlord, who is a LAWYER.

Not much on my calendar today.  After I get done using the computer, I am going to go home and STAY there.  I need to do that more, but I don't really want to.  Am much more comfortable running around the county doing errands of one sort or another.

A feel good story today about Charles Ramsey liberating the girls from their captivity in Cleveland.  A black man freeing white and hispanic girls being held by a Puerto Rican guy and his two brothers.  Charles said, "I knew sumpthin' was wrong, when a pretty little white girl ran straight into the arms of a black man!" (him)  Americans are so desparate for good news that they stand out in the street and CHEER when they hear some.  The three girls had been missing for ten years or more.

Neighbors from hell

  Looking forward to a trip to PARIS.  Trying to get all of my ducks in a row.
Not sure how I am going to handle all of that WALKING.  I am used to car to house to car to library to car to store to house.  Also I have to resort to WHEELS to lug all of my crap around.  It will have to be a new and lighter me to get around Paris.

Not so light today though.  Gained weight overnight.  Probably cause I ate hors d'oeuvres all day.  Need a new approach for that.  Can't eat everything in sight just cause it is going to be my "meal".  Next time I should try one of everything and only have seconds if it is something HEALTHY.  We had Cinco de Mayo snacks after church and more delicious food offerings after an author lecture.

Boy, do I need a change of scene.  The scene directly around my house is really getting on my nerves.  I have a letter I wish I could send to the landlord of my neighbors.  I haven't written it yet but it details about 10 things they have done to annoy me in the month that they have been there.  Now, I know they are not doing it specifically to annoy ME, but how can people like or not notice trash all over the place and loud dog barking?  I was only home for two hours on Saturday and that d*&^ pitbull was barking for at least one of those hours.

Evaporating ice cubes

It is kind of creepy, but every time I go to use some ice cubes, I find that they have evaporated in my freezer.  Is it some side effect of a "frost-free" freezer?  Does it suck up moisture?

Finished My beloved world, by Sonia Sotomayor.  I thought she meant Brooklyn or New York or her life in general.  At the end of the book she prints out in English and Spanish a poem by Jose Gautier Benitez.  Puerto Rico is referred to as "my beloved world".  I loved the book.  She is a successful single woman who came from a poor family and ended up on the Supreme Court.  I cried at one point when she had to take several forms of public transportation to get to Radcliffe to decide on a college.  She didn't like it at all.  It made me cry remembering how my mother took me around to all the colleges.  When she was at Princeton as a student, a friend said, "You must feel like Alice in Wonderland!"  Sonia replied, "Who's that?"  So, she had a lot of cultural and class differences to overcome.  And yes, she did go to college under Affirmative action but look what she made of herself.

I never do anything with my yard.  If I cut off the dead stuff, my yard energy is done.  Now some people moved in downstairs and I said he could do as he wished  in the yard.  Everytime I come home now, I say to myself, "What in the ?#?#?#??"  We have pots, we have rims around things, we have Italian figures, we have driftwood....  I did have to say something about the totem pole (?)  I said I couldn't stand looking at that horrifying image unless he wanted to put it up to scare the neighborhood children.

Blogging and exercising

Two things I think I should do DAILY but it does get a bit tiresome, day after day.  Plus, I have to leave home to accomplish both of these things and sometimes I just run out of energy. Or it is too cold outside.  Didn't get to it this weekend at all.

Trying to stay healthy, but it is hard.  Woke up early while it was still dark and I didn't like the sound of my breathing.  When I exhaled, there was a weird sound, like a little tiny person very far away screaming.  So, I went back to sleep somehow and it seemed to be better when I woke up.

Every time I go into my bathroom, I get excited, as the hole in my window finally got fixed.  When I say FINALLY....Not sure HOW many years ago someone threw a jar of spaghetti sauce through my window.  I was taking a shower at the time.  Someone threw a jar which went through the second floor storm window, through the window, under the shower curtain and landed in the tub behind me.  Luckily, this was not a FULL jar of spaghetti sauce.  That would have REALLY been a mess.  I think I still have some glass in the tub.  Of course, I have no idea who did it and if it was random or personal.  The cops were no help.  All that was left of the bottle was the label and they said they couldn't take fingerprints off of it.

Missed the Golden Globes last night.  OK, I didn't even know it was ON until I sat down to read the paper at 11 PM and saw it listed in the TV section.  I was busy watching 60 minutes and Downton Abbey.  I am committed to Downton Abbey.  Realized there are certain types of segments that I hate on 60 minutes:
- extreme sports
- terrorists
- egotistical, rich men

A sense of accomplishment

Just tried the new sandwich at McDonald's.  I LIKE it and it only costs $1.  Well, I can't seem to find it on their website.  Seems like a regular cheeseburger but it has caramelized onions on it?  Already ate out ONCE today so now I can only eat out if it is CHEAP.

I only have two stations I like at the Cumberland County Library.  They have the dainty mouse instead of this huge Gateway thing.  Both stations were busy.  So I went into the lab hoping to avoid the noisy, amnoying people.  But I still have to use the ginormous stupid mouse.

Had a handyman come over today.  It makes me anxious as I have a very limited attention span for accomplishing things.  Even though it cost me quite a bit, I enjoyed "puttering around" with another person.  And the weather was quite decent! (sunny and perhaps in the 40's?)  I shouldn't begrudge him the money as I only have help very rarely.  Here is what we accomplished (and I really did feel good after working outside for 2 1/2 hours):
- Replaced broken window pane in garage
- Pulled most of ivy off of garage
- Replaced bulb in front door light
- Replaced two motion detector lights in back
- Replaced two motion detector lights up above
- Pounded in loose boards on fence
- Rewired bird feeder after the squirrels ate through the wire supports
- Took all stuff out of my trunk and sorted through it
- Went through a few boxes of stuff in my garage
- Threw out some of my books from Hollins Abroad in France (1967)
- Realligned fence gates so they latch better
- Clipped some branches touching house and hanging down
- Filled suet feeder
- Filled trash bin up to the top with trash bags